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Bianca Smeekes: [00:00:00] stress is not inherently bad thing, the fight or flight response.
None of the states of our nervous system are negative. They all have their reasons. It's just if we get stuck operating in one particular way. I think actually just having some understanding around what state feels the most familiar to you in your nervous system. So if you're somebody who has
the internal dialogue of, I need to do this. I need like the language I need, I must I have to, and it's that wired, tired. Perhaps you're feeling any, if you bring attention into your body, it might be the tightness in your chest might be that the energy in your arms and legs, that is what we consider more of a flight or flight response.
And actually starting to understand that, oh, that could be associated with stress.
Welcome to the Wild and Well Collective Podcast where we believe empowered health is your superpower. We have combined our expertise in medicine and nutrition to bring you the latest research expert insights and success stories of people on a mission to live a big life. So [00:01:00] buckle up and get ready to learn how to live wildly well.
Welcome back to another episode of the Wild and Wild Collective. Today's guest is the beautiful Bianca sms, a mind body practitioner, speaker, and coach, specializing in self-healing and the mind body connection with a background in psychology, clinical hypnotherapy, NLP, and Somatic Trauma therapy.
Bianca helps. People overcome chronic pain and health challenges by rewiring their nervous system. She's here to share her journey, insights, and practical tools for creating lasting change. Let's dive in.
Sheree Beaumont: She is an absolute powerhouse in the space of nourishing your nervous system, getting into all of the neuroscience. So we are truly, truly excited to have you here. Bianca, do you mind telling us a little bit about how you got into this work? 'cause I know you have quite a powerful story.
Bianca Smeekes: Yeah. Thank you Cherri. Hi everyone, I'm Bianca. I'm founder of Neuro Spark. I. Started this work based on my own [00:02:00] personal experiences and my own story. So about 12 years ago now, I was dealing with a lot of chronic pain, fibromyalgia. I had a pelvic pain condition called NIA as well.
And I was also dealing with a lot of post-traumatic stress and anxiety. So I had a lot of different things going on. I had spent. A lot of time, a lot of energy going around the medical system, especially trying to find answers to this chronic ongoing pain. And the hardest thing to deal with at the time was actually the pelvic pain that was really interrupting every element of my life.
Consistent pain on end for about three years. And it wasn't until I came across through a series of events. A approach that encompassed, retraining the brain, regulating the nervous system, looking at emotions and how that was really impacting my health, previous emotions that I hadn't released and dealt with.
Once I had all these [00:03:00] pieces together and I did a training program called The Lightning Process, which I now teach as well, that is when everything shifted for me and I had some tools to really start to. retrain the brain, retrain my pain responses, and get my health back on track. So that's where it all started.
And from there I delved into personal development. I studied overseas and since then it's just organically, headed in a few different directions as well.
Christa Elza: I love that. I love how you took something physical and acknowledged that it was more than just. A physical pain.
Mm-hmm. Because I think oftentimes, we'll say, oh, this is bothering me, this hurts. Why do I have chronic pain? Or why can't I get, why am I not healing? Or why does this autoimmune keep flaring up? Whatever the story is. Mm-hmm.
Sheree Beaumont: And then the
Christa Elza: western medicine approach to it is then to find a medication to block that pain.
And although Western medicine and things like that can be helpful. [00:04:00] I think a lot of times we miss the true root cause of it, which can be something oftentimes to do with the mind and the spirit, because we're connected as a being. How do you approach your clients with that? What kind of techniques do you use to tap into that and also wake someone up?
The fact. Maybe the pain isn't just you need X, Y, Z medication, but we need to go a bit deeper into something else.
Bianca Smeekes: Yeah. That's such a good question and it's really interesting because I was so not open to, I. The mind or the brain or anything other than the physical part of my body that I was experiencing pain.
I wasn't open to that having a part to play at all for several years until, I was desperate, to be honest. And it was mentioned by my pelvic floor physiotherapist. She'd actually done this type of work for her own fatigue issues. [00:05:00] And then I heard about, this mind body approach through a doctor who was quite open-minded, because this was, over a decade ago, there wasn't a whole lot of people talking about anything other than maybe mindfulness here and there.
So the first thing I wanna say on that is I understand that it's really confronting because when you're experiencing physical pain, all you wanna do is just assess that area. I had changes in color and sensation and it all. Like inflammation markers are all pointed to a very physical reason as to it being there, which was, there were different theories as to why it could be, but I didn't have any clear path to recovery.
So I think if you've gone round and round in circles and you can't find any answers, then the next part is to think about perhaps the nervous system approach of. Is, has there been a toll on my nervous system? And that can be a physical toll, which I'm sure you guys talk about a lot, but also the emotional toll, which comes [00:06:00] into chronic stress or perhaps unprocessed emotion.
And just sitting with that concept and really thinking about what was going on at the time. That all these symptoms started to come up, or perhaps, the years or the months before they started to come up, just to actually sit and think about it and be open to it in that respect as well.
But the MINDBODY connection, like we really overcomplicate it. It's so. In our everyday life, we just don't tend to look at it. So it's simply like if you go up to do some public speaking or you're asked to do a presentation at work, for most people, they might feel their anxiety because they're in their body, like sweaty palms or a funny tummy because they're having anxious thoughts about.
The potential thought of going out there and speaking. Right? So that is like a clear indicator of the mind body connection or going on a first date, you might have that and that feeling in your stomach of like, oh, how's it gonna go? Butterflies in your stomach. Again, it's that connection between our thoughts [00:07:00] and our bodies.
So if we really take it back to basics, it makes sense that health is holistic.
Christa Elza: Mm-hmm. For sure. And I think you brought up a point where I. It's important to address anyone who's experiencing physical pain. Not in a way of, oh, this is in your head. Because I think it can be, turned into that and then someone feels very disrespected or brushed off, and so there's a technique, I'm sure, or a way to approach hey.
Let's explore. Yes, I understand. And you are correct. You are feeling that physical pain that's not real. But then let's explore that. And I'm sure that there is a bit of a nuance or a dance kind of in that conversation because too often people are kinda brushed off of, oh, this is in your head taking antidepressant, and that's not what you're saying.
We're saying, yes, the pain is real and let's explore this potential. Mind body connection. And I think what you explained there [00:08:00] is very tangible. Most people can understand a thought creates a physical sensation in their body. And so when you say it like that, why wouldn't it be true that something chronic is, developing because of a chronic thoughts pattern where very patterned in our thinking and in our way of being.
So totally makes sense. Yeah.
Bianca Smeekes: Absolutely. And I think, and specifically when it comes to pain, 'cause I work with like a whole lot of conditions now, but as pain was something I experienced, I can really understand the neuroscience of it. So often there is and , this is chronic pain specifically.
So especially when you've been dealing with the pain long term the original injury or thing that caused it is in the past and you're still dealing with this heightened pain response. Often what happens is our body goes into an initial alarm state or threat response. Like let's say there's an injury that's a normal response your body mobilizes to deal with, to recover.
But if your [00:09:00] system has been stuck in this alarm state for a long period of time, it becomes really hard for all the other functions in your body to work well. And because pain's actually processed in the brain. I like to describe it. It's thinking about like a alarm system going off in the brain and the alarm getting stuck on, and then over time, the system becoming really sensitive to the signals between the brain and the nervous system and on top of the changes that happen in the brain.
You are dealing with, let's say, pain in this instant, your instance, you're thinking about it constantly. You're worried about how it's gonna impact work, family, there's the stressor, and then that stress, that emotional stress, actually, I. Heightens further stress hormones. So you get stuck in that loop cycle.
It's the same with IBS, it's the same with all these chronic conditions. When you're anxious about it, it loops back into more feedback. And when that cycle happens between the brain and the [00:10:00] body consistently, it becomes like a super highway and our body gets start fight or flight response.
Sheree Beaumont: I love that you've explained it that way. 'cause I think, there's. There can be so much angst and there can be so much almost consumption. And I saw something the other day and it was like not letting your diagnosis define you. And that's not. Putting it out there saying, you don't have a real condition and you're not, like you said before, in real true pain, like, we're honoring the fact of where you're at.
But the more you spend a lot of energy being consumed by, is this gonna flare me up? Is this gonna heighten me? Or just constantly thinking about the pain that you are in or the condition that you may have been diagnosed with . more that feedback loop, which you've just so beautifully explained, really gets integrated and stuck in the body.
So. Yeah. With the work you do, it sounds like you break, help people break that cycle. Can you talk us through what that really looks like and how that works? Almost in like a. Chemical level in the brain.
Bianca Smeekes: Yeah, sure. Yeah, great question. So, I do a whole lot of different work, but [00:11:00] if we focus on the chronic illness side of things, and I'm working with conditions like pain, fatigue, long covid, IBS, anxiety, just.
Those ongoing chronic symptoms that people find difficult and stuck in is usually the thing they've been to all the people. They're not having any clear path to recovery, so that's when we know that usually it's become neurological, meaning that the pathways. In the brain, a firing and the nervous system is sensitized or stuck in a stress response.
So stuck in a stress response is like if you probably heard a fight or flight or a freeze response, it just gets stuck responding as if everything's a threat. So again, if we go back to pain. Or even IBS is another example. We'll stick to pain for now. Someone comes in with chronic pain. They've already got that label, so they're their brain is actually finding that's a fearful label, right?
No one wants pain. It's a big diagnosis. Often the first thing I work with people [00:12:00] with is around language and beliefs, because if we are saying I am just someone who has. IBS. So I just have this, it's like your brain actually starts to find evidence to support that identity and that belief. And again, like you said, Sheri, it's not about ignoring the symptoms.
It's just a little shift in language. Like, currently I'm experiencing some discomfort or I'm going through a phase of irritable bowel, but it's not making it. About you as a person. It's more an adaption that's happening in your nervous system or a process that's currently occurring. So a lot of my work with my NLP background is around getting people to start to think like that, starting to open up to this idea that this might be changeable, that it's not who they are and the beliefs around what they've often been told.
It's possible or not possible to fix, perhaps by very well intending medical professionals that [00:13:00] are just doing their part. So we work a bit around beliefs and then what I do, I mean we go into the neuroscience around the nervous system and how our nervous system actually works to protect us. So pain's not a negative response, it's just something that probably made sense at the time.
It's just that the body's become, or the nervous system's become unbalanced, which is what we call. Dysregulated over time and it's become stuck in a alarm state. Once people start to realize like, oh, okay, it makes sense, like there's the, it's making sense as to why this fatigue is stuck around after glandular fever or why this IBS has happened after I've gone through like a really stressful period in my life and anxiety.
They then start to again further. Understand the knowledge and therefore it gives them some power. And then when I'm working especially with the lightning process, which is a three day training, each day I'm teaching my clients a set of practical [00:14:00] tools. And these tools are really designed to circuit break this.
Automated pathway between the brain and the body. So the tools you take anywhere between 30 seconds and two minutes depending on, how long someone does them for, they're about they involve changing your posture. Shifting your breath. There's some self-coaching, so we really like practicing some self-compassion, calming down that like, internal talk, which is often fear, which heightens the nervous system, shifting language.
So focusing on what they want rather than what they don't want. So rather than like, oh, I just want this pain to go away. I don't wanna be feeling sore. It's like. I want to feel luxurious comfort. I wanna feel ease in my body getting 'em to really step into that because that fires different brain pathways and some visualization, which is a really powerful tool to retrain the brain.
And when they do, [00:15:00] and I probably left a few elements out, but it's all about like physiology and. Brain retraining or neuroscience based mental techniques. And when they do these tools, we call them consistently when they need, when they get into like a fear response or a loop cycle, they're starting to retrain and break the predictable response pattern.
So usually someone will feel pain and they'll be like, oh shit, how long is this gonna last? Is it gonna, am I gonna be able to go for that run? Oh no. What am I gonna do with the kids? That cycle that's feeding back into the nervous system. All these stress hormones, when they start to bring themselves back to the present and redirect that with time, the body's back into that parasympathetic, rested state so that all the functions can start to come back into balance.
So they're not getting clear as, as much, so it's not a one time thing. The tools I teach are like, essentially it's like taking yourself to the gym every day. , you're putting in the [00:16:00] reps. You've gotta trust the process. There's gotta be, you gotta show up when you don't want to, but with time.
A month or so, you start seeing changes and it's exactly the same when we are retraining the brain as well.
Christa Elza: It's so fascinating to me the power of the mind. I think that, I have found multiple of my patients who, and this isn't true for everyone, but many women with endometriosis mm-hmm.
I'll ask them and subsequent infertility. I've had more than one multiple women say that they also had childhood sexual trauma. Mm. So I think it's really fascinating too, how sometimes we've experienced some sort of trauma in life and that has triggered a response and that energy, that fear, that shame, whatever it is.
Mm-hmm.
Sheree Beaumont: That
Christa Elza: energy goes, we carry energy in our body. We're energetic beings, right? So sometimes that can settle into specific areas of the body, [00:17:00] which I know sounds woo woo, but it's actually science that we, our energy create our mind, our thoughts do create. Frequency and creates a reality. And I think what you just described can be translated into anything that you want, anything that you're not comfortable with, your state of money, your state of relationship, the pain in your body.
I. The more you focus on it, your body is a reality making machine. And so the more we focus on what we don't want, then we create more of that no matter what it is. And so I love that you brought up the visualization and the focusing on what you do want rather than what you don't want. Because we will start to see more of, and experience more of whatever we're hanging out on what, whatever pattern we've created there.
Yeah. what do most people come to you for? Is it acute pain? Is it chronic pain? Is it anxiety? Where do you find most people? [00:18:00] Yeah. What kind of drives them to you? I'm just curious what your big wheelhouse is.
Bianca Smeekes: I love what you said around the. The focus and what we draw attention to.
'cause there is actually science behind that. We have this thing called the reticular activating system, which is what we focus on, we're gonna find more of. Mm-hmm. There's no shame around what we're getting in our reality. 'cause for people that are experiencing health issues, it's like.
Their brain's gone into protection mode, so they're finding more evidence of stuff out of safety. Like, ugh, I don't, how am I gonna go if I do that? If, it's out of protection. So it's been doing the right thing. For that person, even though it's not having good results, it's just been doing it to a level that's no longer useful.
Maybe in the past it was, but it's sort of like gone into overprotection, so we're just undoing it. But yeah, on the question around who do I work with, again, it's usually people that have had ongoing chronic symptoms. So chronic anywhere, bet I'd say after three months, usually they've had them for longer [00:19:00] and.
I do see a lot of chronic pain, things like endo and those sorts of things. I've definitely had clients that have had that as a secondary diagnosis because although I don't like, it's, endo itself is not something that I would say falls primary into like the brain training work. The pain response I definitely think can be shifted with some practice for sure.
Of how much pain. 'cause people get into the same types of mental habits as well. But yeah, a lot of chronic fatigue, long covid, which has been something that I've seen a lot of recently. Chronic pain, anxiety, low self-esteem, just people who feel stuck in life and actually want some tools to really be able to break those patterns.
But with, when talking about trauma and those sorts of things as well, there, there can be patterns around that too. So I've done extra study to really understand the body. And trauma and move through a lot of trauma myself as well and how it all, and to connects [00:20:00] again between the brain and the body, whether we are doing body-based practices and finding safety in the body, or retraining the brain from the top down into the body.
I think both are really important.
Sheree Beaumont: I love this. I love this conversation. A lot of the times, when you're looking at root cause. You say to someone, Hey, I can see what's going on. Like from a physical standpoint where you know, when I'm working with someone I can see that stress is the main issue.
Mm-hmm. But you say to someone, Hey, I think that stress is driving this, and people almost get defensive about it, or they're like, I'm not stressed, and I'm like, you just told me how busy you are. That's just even in that is a stress on the system. And so the way you've been describing this and actually explaining it, I think gives people a really.
Beautiful. Understanding that this could be the root cause of what's causing a lot of the issues. And it's okay that that might be the case. We don't have to find a physical manifestation of whatever it is, or it doesn't have to be the blood work [00:21:00] that comes back and it's like, that is the answer.
Think giving people full permission to go, okay, this is how I'm gonna treat this moving forward, and the breaking of the patterns and the breaking of the thoughts because. They can be all consuming, and I'm curious how you help people get to the stage where they're even aware of that. Because so many times you'll be working with someone and you can see it.
You can see it as the coach. You can see it as the cracky from the outside, and you're like, if I could just shake you and wake you up to the fact that you are standing in your own way. This is the elephant in the room. I love you, but can I just call you out on this without them getting like defensive?
How do you broach? That actually there is a neurological component to this, and that's
Bianca Smeekes: what we're gonna work with. Yeah, look. I think first of all, that thing on stress, I wanna just speak on that in a way that might resonate for some listeners. Think of it as a bridge, right? A bridge can only hold so much weight before it crumbles or falls.
And if you've got like, let's say a truck crossing that might be a really bad [00:22:00] flu. And then you've got some stress from work and like, let's say the truck gets stuck on the bridge, another car comes up behind it, some stress from work, then you've got the kids. Something going on with the kids, another car.
Then you've got you had a sports injury. There's only so much stress your body can take before it's the straw on the camel's back. So I really wanna get the point across that stress can be emotional, but it also can be all these little physical stresses that, and like I know you both talk about a lot of the nervous system stress around not eating breakfast, doing things that we've been told.
Positive, but actually put a lot of stress on our system. So the next question around how do I, how do people get to this point where they're open? I think for me, for the work I do, I'm really careful with who I take on and usually by the time they find me, they've come to some acceptance that, especially around the science, that this makes sense.
So I don't ever try and convince [00:23:00] anymore because I know that. I am sure you may have both learned, it's pretty hard to do your job when you're spending a lot of energy doing that, but I think things are changing and more people are having these conversations. No one's to blame for stress either.
Like we are living in really difficult times, like people have a lot going on. It's just exploring different areas to really open up your potential for change and open up your potential for recovery. But what I have noticed, which. Could be quite fascinating to the woman listening is that through seeing a lot of clients and having been stuck with chronic symptoms, myself, there are types of people I see that develop ongoing chronic symptoms.
I wouldn't say personality personalities and such. I'd say adaptations that people have over time, like ways of being that they're showing up as that can pre. Dispose them or put their nervous system into more stressful states. The [00:24:00] first one is high achieving. So again, high achieving can be really positive and it is a really positive thing, but that point, that tipping point when it doesn't become useful and people stop listening to the cues of their body for rest or their measure of success is.
Outside of themselves, and perhaps they haven't actually realized that. They're just like on, on, on. And the body starts giving you signals of like, okay, time to listen. Like, time to listen. So that's one thing I see a lot of, and people get that at that logical level. They're like, okay, cool.
I think I've maybe gone into the stress zone too much. The other one is other two perfectionism. So doing the right thing, that good girl syndrome as well, trying to. Tick all the boxes and be the perfect person. It can create so much stress because we've got this constant internal dialogue of what we should be doing.
High expectations on ourself, and then like plus social media. I. All the other things. I think it's [00:25:00] something that is common in my clients and I definitely still work through little bits of that myself, but I don't live in that place like I used to. And then people pleasing a huge one again, I think like so many of us can relate that constantly giving, giving, giving to everyone else, saying yes.
Forgetting about our own needs and feeling depleted and exhausted. And on that energy level, like there's only so much we can before can give before our body starts being like, what about me? And that's where those signals start to come in. And I say signals because I think our body's always talking to us through different signals.
Mm-hmm. So if you even think about those patterns and how they can drive stress in your life, you can start to see that they're like the, the layer above physical symptoms. Even if you can start to work on them naturally, you've got less threat response in your body. So often your symptoms start improving.[00:26:00]
Christa Elza: Mm-hmm. Yeah. I think it's interesting to acknowledge the personality types and the personality types. Then they, those individuals don't even recognize that as a problem because that's. Who they are. That's just how they've operated their whole life for whatever reason, whatever kind of drove them to find love and acceptance and that's how they found that they would be loved and accepted by achieving, by being perfect, by serving other people.
So it's an innocent. It's an innocent response, but it doesn't serve any longer. Mm-hmm. I think men can suffer from this as well. Yeah. I think too though, that women tend to be number one more in tune with our bodies, and number two, I. Hormone fluctuations can definitely shift and change our perception or our ability to tolerate pain or not tolerate pain.
And I find this conversation specifically interesting for women 35 and older, 40 and older, and I think it's really important for women to understand [00:27:00] that in order to go through menopause, let's say in your fifties or late forties, it's important to address. Things like your nervous system and how you're managing stress.
Then, because as you've mentioned, that stress response pushes up cortisol and that comes from our adrenal glands. And then as hormones fluctuate, our adrenals kinda take over part of what the ovary did. And so that can add an additional stress during an already stressful time for women when hormones start to decline.
So I think you've brought up some really. Great points of how chronic patterns of being chronic patterns, ways of thinking and navigating yourself in the world can be contributing to that. What are some specific little tidbits like let's say. Our listeners are listening saying, okay, I wanna get ahead of this.
Maybe I don't have chronic pain, but I certainly want some tools because I know that I'm this type of person and I don't want later in life this to become an issue. What are maybe [00:28:00] the top three quick habits that people can start to integrate daily that can help stave some of this off?
Bianca Smeekes: Mm, that's a good question.
Yeah, there's so many things I could give, but for generally speaking, if you haven't got chronic symptoms, I think it's just ways, not knowing that the way life is moving, the pace that we move at, we do tend to spend a lot of our time in. The fight or flight response if we are not careful, if we are not mindful, and I'm sure you've both spoken on this before, stress is not in inherently bad thing, the fight or flight response.
None of the states of our nervous system are negative. They all have their reasons. It's just if we get stuck operating in one particular way. So I'd first, I think actually just having some understanding around what state feels the most familiar to you in your nervous system. So if you're somebody who has
the internal dialogue of, I need to do this. I need like the language I need, I must I have [00:29:00] to, and it's that wired, tired. Perhaps you're feeling any, if you bring attention into your body, it might be the tightness in your chest might be that the energy in your arms and legs, that is what we consider more of a flight or flight response.
And actually starting to understand that, oh, that could be associated with stress. If it's more of a shutdown response, it is the lack of motivation that procrastination I and the language around that would be, I'm so unmotivated. I want to, but I can't, there's no point. Everything's too hard.
When we are working with the nervous system, it's a different approach for each of those states. So if it's a fight or flight response, we usually want to a simple thing would be the breath. Literally just finding tiny moments. Throughout your day to come back to your breath. And I think the most easy one to remember is the box breath, like mm-hmm.
In four, [00:30:00] holding for four out for four. And it's, think of it as like circuit breakers or just oh. Puncturing your day with these moments of coming back. Into your body, through your breath. If it's someone was more resonating with a shutdown response, I think actually movement and mobilizing some energy into the body is actually something that can be really beneficial.
So for me, I love dancing. It's really helped me like come into my body. Again, stretching is another good one. Just slow movement can really help you build that energy back into the body. But from a brain perspective, start looking for, like you said, what you want rather than what you don't want.
Literally just take that audit. What have I been looking for in my day? If someone is dealing with chronic health symptoms or let's say. IBS. Are you looking for [00:31:00] every time you're getting a stomach pain or every little thing that's going on in your stomach, are you constantly drawing that attention internally or are you looking at where you are feeling comfortable?
Are you looking at parts of your body that are operating? Really well in that moment. So it's just start again. Starting to notice where your attention is can really help bring awareness to perhaps where the stress is being driven in your life, where it's coming up consistently. And I guess one more thing to consider to start a starting point would be beliefs.
What do you believe about yourself and the way that you must be through life, be operating? Any statements around I am, I'm just a overthinker. I am just somebody who always struggles with start to question that. Have you ever had evidence that goes against that? You could pull on what the other person said. You can write down evidence to that. That goes against that belief. So you're starting to [00:32:00] build that evidence bank that maybe that's a solid belief that can be opened up to something different. When we can start questioning our beliefs, it just gives us a whole new lens.
With time, our brain can start looking for different evidence that there might be new potentials that we haven't yet seen.
Christa Elza: I've also played around with, and I love this idea. I've heard it, where when you think about a higher intelligence that's the universe, God, what, whatever you wanna call a higher power that is all peace, comfort.
There is no negativity, right? It's positive, it's abundance, right? So any thought that we're having, whether it's. This pain's never gonna go away or whatever situation you're in, or this is just my way of, this is just me, this is how it's gonna be, and it's negative. That's. Technically an unintelligent thought because intelligent thought or a higher power or higher intelligence would be the opposite of that.
And so one [00:33:00] practice that you've said, and I've also played around with this idea because we do get stuck in these patterns of thinking, like, of worry. Oh gosh. What if we just stop and say, wait a minute, I don't like this feeling. So the opposite must be true, right? The op, the opposite is available to me as well.
And so writing down the opposite of what the negative or the fear or whatever it is. And then like you said, finding all the evidence where that has been true. Well, I've had, I. Months where my stomach hasn't hurt. I've had, before age, whatever. I never had this symptom. So you have evidence that your body didn't feel this way or your emotions didn't feel this way, or whatever it is.
And so much like you said, I'm reiterating it, but that's a kind of a tangible practice that I do. And then I want to speak on that. You can write it down and I think sometimes writing things down makes it more. Another layer of sticking into your brain, right? So whatever the negative thought is
Bianca Smeekes: completely, and I actually give this to my clients.
This exercise, what I [00:34:00] think tends to happen if we've been stuck for a while, mentally or physically, we start speaking generalizations. So every time I go for a run, I get a sore. Foot or I never get a break from this anxiety. So those big sweeping statements. So even if you're writing them down, try and find those sweeping statements.
I said when I had chronic pain, which I haven't actually, I didn't say this to the listeners, but I actually haven't had it since I got well over a decade ago. I used to say. 24 7. I'm in pain just 24 7. And I remember someone saying to me, is it 24 7? Do you have it when you're asleep? And I thought about it.
Bianca Smeekes: I was like, no, I do have it every day, but when I'm asleep, I'm asleep. Like I just never had that aha moment that what I was saying and putting out there wasn't actually accurate. So how was my brain to find evidence of a different reality when I just. [00:35:00] Naturally said it. And one thing I wanna say on what you said before, 'cause I love what you said, a big realization I came to is that you can't really heal in the same energy that you are.
You got stuck in. Mm. So if you are constantly pushing and trying to figure out and really forcing, often it's counterintuitive. There's a difference between sticking to something and being consistent and doing it from a place of trust versus when is this gonna work? How is this gonna happen? It's that, that forcing that can almost keep us.
Stuck in this like state of anxiety and control. And the thing is like we all go there, but I think the more we have awareness around when we are pushing and forcing versus taking steps, trusting, we might have our days, but knowing that it takes practice, trust, consistency with anything that's a different energy and I [00:36:00] find mm-hmm.
Often taught to approach health, especially if we're stuck of like, what's next? What's next thing? What can I explore next? How am I gonna do it? It's a real push, which makes sense, but there's a different way as well that we can learn. And that comes back to our energy and our thoughts too.
Christa Elza: I see that.
I wanna mention one more thing, sorry, on this because. I've also, like, I, I share this a lot too, and maybe I've said it here before, but I read a book where he talks about. The fly that's banging against the window, banging against the window, trying to get outside via the window and it will die on the windowsill.
Christa Elza: We've all seen that happen, but what's sad is that there's probably an open door across the room that the fly could just turn and fly out and live a better, long life. Right. And we do that too with our way of thinking. It just came to my mind when you were saying. We don't wake up to the idea that there is a better way.
There's an, we just need to let it go. We need to be open to turning around and open to, maybe the opposite is true. Maybe there's another way because this just [00:37:00] isn't working. When we notice a lot of distance to. Well, this isn't working. Like I'm not getting better. I'm not feeling better. Maybe it's, being open to that.
You never know what's gonna happen. You might be drawn to the right practitioner that's really gonna help you, you might be drawn to, there's all sorts of things that can happen when you just release that and allow, like maybe there's an open door and I'm banging my head against this window and it's not working.
Bianca Smeekes: Yeah. And two things can be true. We are allowed to have that frustration, but also staying open to what might come in and different approaches, I think is so important.
Sheree Beaumont: One of the things you mentioned earlier that I really wanna circle back on is how much, we can be in tune, especially as women, but you know, when we do really start to listen to our bodies, and it sounds like, and correct me if I'm wrong, but a lot of the people you work with, they're almost hypersensitive, and I see this with clients all the time where it's like, oh, okay, I'm aware that I've got, I've really started listening.
And then they freak out when they're going for a run or their belief is that we get stuck in. I'm in the pain 24 7 [00:38:00] and we are bringing ourselves, like we've talked about into that real fear state, and I see this a lot. And Krista, you mentioned even like with menopausal side of things or women hitting into menopause, I actually see this a lot as a trainer because women will come in with like a frozen shoulder or golfer's elbow and they've never had it.
They've never had anything that's triggered that before. And then they're very opposed to doing anything to move. The shoulder, like there's so much fear blocking that response. There's so much fear. No, I can't lift anything overhead because I've got frozen shoulder and they start to identify with it so deeply, I have.
A friend who is just so obsessed with every little thing in her body. There is, and I'm wondering if we can talk a little bit about this. It's like rebuilding the trust. She is not okay because she's, oh my gosh, if I go this to this point in the day and I haven't eaten, I'm gonna be hangry. My blood sugar's gonna crash.
It's like, think about our survival like hundreds of years ago, [00:39:00] we win hours without food. We didn't have these gut issues like. But , we've almost so hypersensitive now to being like, well, what is my body trying to tell me that we can go to the other extreme and really lose that trust? Really lose that connection to be like, actually, no, I can shoulder press.
It's just breaking the neural circuit. Or actually my body can handle that food or can handle hours without food. Is that part of the work that you do is really getting people to trust
Bianca Smeekes: their bodies? Again, a hundred percent. And anyone who's had. Stuckness. I'll say generally speaking, stuckness will understand, like it makes sense, right?
That you lose trust, especially if you're going through some physical ailments. I fully agree with you and I think these are healthy, medium. I think I see some chronic symptoms, especially the ones that people have had all the testing. They can't find an answer. I see that as like slightly different.
That's, I have this viewpoint that people's awareness of their body, it's like [00:40:00] skyrocket, oh, I should speak to the mic. It's skyrocketed. Like it's through the roof. So I think what I, a lot of my work is helping people turn down that hyper vigilance that has naturally come. There's nothing wrong with having it.
If you injure yourself and you go to the physio, or you go to the gp, they're gonna be like, tell me your symptoms. We, what have they been like? When is it the worst? When is it better? It's very like, you're feeding back and that feedback loop and knowing and understanding your symptoms becomes wired in.
Therefore, you start looking for, like, you, you're seeing your day internally. Your talk becomes, how is my shoulder? Is it? Is it good? Is it worse? Is it better? You become like a master investigator of your own body, but to your detriment, because every, it's that hypersensitivity. But there's a healthy level I think that we wanna work towards.
Most of the population has a really low level of awareness, like the general population. We overeat, we don't sleep enough, we don't exercise. That good [00:41:00] level of awareness is the healthy level where I feel like we can do the internal check-in, but we can also focus externally on life and have that trust that our body is more resilient than we realize, and that we don't have to be stuck.
Particularly in these long-term things that become our identity. But yeah, I just wanna validate that, like that hyper awareness, it's a strategy by the brain and the body. That makes sense. But we do wanna dial that back because. Again, it feeds that loop of fear, which feeds the stress response, which amplifies the symptoms.
And most people don't realize they think that by doing that they have a sense of control over their physical body. But actually the amplifying the. Threat response, which turns up the symptoms in the body. Mm-hmm. So trust and that energy of trust, I often get my clients to [00:42:00] think like before they had physical issues, how were they going about their day?
Were they focused internally or were they just catching up for coffee? Were they going to the gym? How am I feeling today? What do I need to do? They weren't super attached to I can't do this, I can't do that. And that energy. Often when they think about it, you can see in their face they're like, oh, that was a relief.
Like that felt good to just know that things were gonna be okay. I think sometimes there's a bit of fear there because for people that haven't listened to their body, sometimes that's why they get to that burnout or illness point. But as I said, I think we can all find strategies to find that happy medium that I personally think is beneficial to our health.
Mm-hmm.
Christa Elza: Mm-hmm. I agree. One, one isn't that Yes. Like we don't want either extreme, we don't want to be a hypochondriac or somebody who's always so in tune with every little bump in the night in the body is like freak out. But then, yeah, we've gotta also take care of ourselves and I, yeah, there's [00:43:00] definitely both things can be correct at the same time.
Yeah. You've gotta have some of.
Bianca Smeekes: I've always been a bit like, it's interesting, there's more technology coming out, tracking and all these things that we can track, which I do think are really helpful. But I was listening to the speaker around sleep and she was saying, you should like monthly.
What are those watches called? The rings. The or rings,
Sheree Beaumont: yeah. And she
Bianca Smeekes: was like, and she was saying, it's good to like look at that data and that feedback at the end of every month rather than every night. Because if you do get into like a stressful period in life or your data isn't actually that beneficial, you can start to find that belief of, oh, and that, that added stress of I'm not sleeping as I should.
That's one extra thing. Whereas if you're somewhere in the middle, you're taking in the data, but you're not necessarily like obsessed with it all the time. Mm-hmm. Again, that might be something to do with that healthy medium. I quite like that approach.
Christa Elza: Yeah, , I agree. I think a lot of these [00:44:00] wearables, a lot of these tracking devices are really, really helpful.
But yeah, you do have to check in. I agree. Same with like continuous glucose monitors. I love wearing that periodically because it helps you check in what am I eating right now as a pattern and how is that affecting my blood sugar? But if you were to wear that all the time and you're not diabetic and you don't need to, you might become over hypervigilant about every little bitty thing that you're eating, which also isn't healthy.
So. Everything is in balance. And I think when you recognize that pattern in yourself, again, a lot of it just comes back to awareness of, man, I really don't like that. I'm constantly thinking this way. How do I break that pattern? And I think you've shared just some of the things, and I'm assuming that the tips that you shared when noticing.
And waking up to, oh my gosh, I'm in this pattern of thinking. That's when you would maybe go for a run or you would stretch, or you would do some deep breathing, some box breathing, right, to kinda shake up that pattern in that moment when you're finding I'm becoming hypervigilant about X, Y, [00:45:00] Z.
Bianca Smeekes: Yeah, I like, I have those specific tools that I teach my clients.
It's quite hard to. 'cause it's a whole lot of different stuff in one. But yeah, anything that brings you back to the present moment I think is really beneficial. And just starting to also ask yourself, where did I learn to do that? Because just the exploration around. Like was that something that I. You know without going into it too deep, but was I told, did I get modeled that growing up?
Like have I realized that my parents were always on the go and I actually could never rest and feel safe to rest? And starting to question that can actually help people. 'cause they realize, oh, I've just been doing this automatically now I have , this. Choice about what do I need for my body? What is my what, what is gonna work for me?
Because often we are just picking up unconsciously patterns from those modeled around us without realizing, not even realizing that it's I. Maybe not working in our favor or something that we want to be practicing. But yeah, in the initial stages, I [00:46:00] think noticing it is the first thing. If it's like hyper vigilance of body sensations, if my clients don't have the full toolkit that I give them, I just say do anything to just acknowledge that thoughts there.
Like, cool, thank you for trying to protect me. And then almost think of it as like, catch it, let it go. Catch it. Just release it gently. Don't push it away. It was there for a reason. Just protection. And then bring your focus back into the present or do something that makes you feel present. If you're not someone that has built this capacity to meditate for or be in silence for half an hour, which again is very common, go for a walk, go for a run.
Do what you need to do. But. That self-compassion piece is huge because if we are getting these hypervigilance and then we use again that same energy to be like, ah, piss off. Like, you, I know this is gonna create more, and it's like that resistance that really like, re yeah, that resistance.
It [00:47:00] also can. It is just not a very, it's not very productive. I think a better approach is again, okay, it's here for a reason. The reason is because it's trying to protect me, or it's just a pathway that's been running for a while that's become really strong. Thanks. You can go. Yeah. Keep it moving.
Sheree Beaumont: Yeah.
I totally agree. And I think when we are talking about this, it's knowing the level of awareness to get to, like we've talked about, the hypervigilance, the hypersensitivity, and then we've talked about not being aware. And just to go back to the wearables and the tracking, I think because it's.
It's fun. Like everyone, someone called me a little weirdo the other day and I was like, I really don't care. 'cause I've been tracking my hormones through like peeing on a little stick and putting it into a device and like to me it lights me up. But I've seen clients and I've seen people almost outsource their power.
Like you were talking about, whether it's a unconscious pattern we've picked up from somewhere, or suddenly we're giving our power to this tracking device to, oh, it's gonna tell me how I slept [00:48:00] versus like, I always say to my clients. Before you and I do this in practice of myself, before you pick up your aura ring data before you pick up, even I teach a lot of cycle syncing when it comes to training before you go in and be like, I'm gonna pick up the heavy weights 'cause I'm ovulating.
How are you feeling when you woke up from that sleep? Check in with you first and be like, okay. And then you can look at the data and be like, oh, that's interesting. It's mirroring to me what I felt. Or sometimes it can be completely different. Like sometimes you can wake up with an abundance of energy and you look and your sleep was shit, and you're like, oh, well, like not necessarily having to take it on board I think is one of the real key things here.
And using it to really determine like not have to carry it with you. Like you have the ability to be like, I'm gonna take this on, or I'm not, I'm gonna outsource my power, or I'm not, I'm gonna buy into the fear or I'm not. And. Taking everything we've said with a grain of salt. We don't have to go to either extremes and coming back to that union within yourself and really listening to yourself, but not from a place of [00:49:00] disempowerment.
Yes,
Bianca Smeekes: a hundred percent. And just using it as support really, because we are not actually taught that we have a lot of intuition in our own body, and half of the reason, looking back now, I believe that I. Got chronic symptoms for years. It's because I was so disconnected. And a lot of the work you both do really resonates with me because I was that person that was pushing myself constantly starving myself, diets really negative, internal self-talk, high achieving.
I was the classic person that had probably no awareness of. From my sort of neck downwards. I just didn't have that awareness. Didn't even come into to my sphere. So if you are feeling like that and you're thinking, yeah, but how do I tune in? Like I think that this thing knows more than I do. It just takes practice.
It [00:50:00] really does. We can all build that to a point where it feels healthy. Even recognizing like if you need to go to the bathroom, often we just. Push down that queue and hold on. 'cause we are in the middle of doing something or we are talking to a friend and we don't wanna be rude and jump out. That there are moments where we can start to train ourselves to listen to our body.
Rather than doing the, like holding on and not wanting to be a nuisance. Just say, Hey, I need to pop to the alert. I'll be back. The same with eating. It's just starting to trust ourselves when those really basic cues come up. Because so often we have this tendency just to. Disregard our body's wisdom without even realizing, and it starts in those tiny moments.
Christa Elza: Yep. Absolutely. You've brought up so many amazing points, and I think that a lot of people listening can relate. It's not something to be ashamed of, like you've mentioned multiple times. A lot of these responses are innocent responses just gone haywire and waking up to that I think is.[00:51:00]
Is the first the key, right? And so, that being said, how can people work with you? Do you work virtually? Do you just work locally? How do people find you? And we'll put everything in the show notes, but I think that you, what you do is so important. And I think, like I said, a lot of people can relate and just knowing that there's help out there sometimes can be like, okay, cool.
And even just listening to those podcasts might allow people to let go of some of the thoughts, knowing, okay, I'm not a weirdo, this is just natural, patterning that has gone haywire. But if people want to go to the next level and really understand and work with you on tools in their specific situation.
How can people find you?
Bianca Smeekes: Yeah, sure. So I am based in Auckland, New Zealand. However, I do work mostly online at the moment. So I have the lightning process training, which is the three half day training based on neuroscience and physiology. And that is around retraining the brain and [00:52:00] nervous system for chronic.
Ongoing symptoms. So, there's that. And then I also have self sourced, which is a 12 week group coaching program for women where we all come together and we actually start to unlearn and unravel these patterns that I see consistently that come up in health. So self sourced isn't actually health related.
It's about. Stepping into your power as a woman, unlearning, perfectionism, people pleasing, negative self-talk, connecting to the body. I really created this program because I thought, if women can take ownership on this, then that's actually gonna be beneficial for their health. They don't need to wait till they're at, the bottom of the cliff dealing with.
Symptoms. And then finally, my podcast is unlearned with Bianca, and I share a lot of these concepts on there. But where people can find me is instagram at neuro N-E-U-R-O. Spark, S-P-A-R-K and my website. I can give you guys to pop in the show notes, but yeah, welcome just to get [00:53:00] in touch.
I'm always up for just an intro chat. No obligations. You're more than welcome to just get in touch with me, share a bit about what's going on and I'll be really honest and make sure that I direct your point you to. What I think would suit you best. And if it's not with me, I do know a lot of people in this space, so there's always a lot of support out there as well.
Sheree Beaumont: Amazing. Well, thank you so much for being here, Bianca. , I got so much out of this conversation and I think it's really opened up people's minds physically and mentally, hopefully to what other possibilities there are. And yeah, I just love that you're in this space and I've actually got a few clients that are popping into my head that I think could really do with your support.
So thank you for being here and sharing your magic.
Bianca Smeekes: Yeah, thank you for having me and asking such interesting questions that I'd love this conversation too.
If you love this episode, be sure to leave us a review, download, and subscribe. If you know someone that could also benefit from this conversation, please share. That's how we Spread Empowered Health. We'll see you again for another episode of the Wild and Wild [00:54:00] Collective.
