Christa 0:00
All right, welcome back, everybody. Today, I'm so excited to have this conversation with my dear friend Chyna Jones, she has so much experience not only in the fitness industry, but also in the coaching industry. And she's going to join us today to talk about how to really live a high achieving life to do all the things, but how do we find balance in that, so I'm super excited to have you here, China. And to start us out, tell us a little bit about your journey and where you've come from and where you are now.
Speaker 1 0:33
Thank you. Yeah, I am so excited to be on this podcast and to chat about this with you girls. Because as you know, this is kind of like my wheelhouse. And I love, I love helping other people really learn how to create I like to say harmony, because I think balance is sometimes unachievable. And when we're always looking to try to balance things, it's like, usually, if you think of a scale, if you put more energy on one side of the scale, like if you're working on a business project or something, naturally, the scale is going to tip right. So it's like, hard to have that unrealistic idea of balance. And so I usually try to say, harmony, but I know most people resonate with the word balance. But a little bit about my background. So I spent about over a dozen years in the fitness and health industry, I had a pretty strong private training practice and owned a gym for a number of those years a gym in Santa Barbara, and I really loved it. And I felt like I was really living into my core values. And I was super passionate about it. But I got to a place where I want to say that I'm really grateful that I did that, because I learned so much about health and about how to, you know, practice what you preach and, and really create habits around movement and eating nutritious foods and sleep and all of the things that you guys are both really good at with your clients. And, and I think that those are our foundational pieces that I'll always have in my life. So I'm grateful for that. But I got to a point where I just felt like I wanted to serve people on a deeper level. And there's always those clients that just need some structure and accountability and maybe some education in how to hit their goals, their fitness and health goals. And when they have a coach that can help them with that they exceed and hit their goals. And it's amazing, right? We love those type of clients. But then there's the kind who they know what to do, but they aren't following through. And it's like, okay, I know I shouldn't be snacking late at night, right before bed and eating a bunch of ice cream, but I can't help it. And that's like all I want and all I crave every night, right or I know I should go and work out but I just can't motivate myself to do it. And so when there's like the psychology piece, I got really curious about that. And I was kind of going through a transition in my life with wanting to start a family and just realizing that my current schedule was getting up at 430 and 5am in the morning, to go teach classes and work with clients. And I just knew that that wasn't sustainable for me. And my husband and I had talked about wanting to create more time and location freedom with our businesses. And so I just got curious and started exploring, and I came across Alyssa Nobrega, who you guys, that's how we all met is through her coaching certification. And it really just like sparked something in me, you know, learning the deeper psychology of everything and how to work with some of those clients who knew what to do but weren't doing it. And through the whole process, I ended up kind of shifting. The type of clients that I work with, I now work more with, with people around business or just like life fulfillment, I would say a lot of high achievers who are wanting to grow their business, but they want to do it in a sustainable way. And they don't maybe their old pattern was to kind of get this laser tunnel vision and then put their own life on the backburner their health, their relationships, everything else on the backburner so they can achieve. And they realize that that's not the way that they want to keep doing life. And so I love working with women like this because I feel like it's really powerful when people can learn that and how to do both. And you don't have to sacrifice one. In order to be successful, you can do both. So that's really the type of client that I enjoy working with. Now the most.
Christa 4:40
I love that because it really is true. A lot of us know what to do we know on a mental level, but then it's like, really, how do we change that? And so I'm curious so you help people reach goals without added stress and lingering in that self beat up of procrastination. So how do you teach people to blend that creative strategy within our work to actually hit goals easier, like how do you find that harmony?
Speaker 1 5:07
Mm hmm. Yeah, I would say, it's interesting because it really depends on the person. And of course, there's different routes to go. But as we learned in the coaching certification, I think it's really important to meet people where they're at, because I know I came in a little more skeptical of what I call like the whoo practices. And my friend Randy and I, we have a company called woman who warrior, and we always would joke that we're like, the practical boo. Because, you know, we have some friends that are like, super out there, and we love it. But we are always like, yeah, I don't know, like, like, we're into breathwork. But not like, off the deep end, you know, like we we would dip our toe and we really prided ourselves in the retreat that we would do is like helping women kind of explore and, and tap into some of these practices without it being like, way off the deep end. And so I can appreciate that.
Christa 6:03
And I really appreciate that in the world of medicine, because as a nurse practitioner, Western trained, you know, there are some in my mind, like some absolutes and some absolute treatments. But yeah, it's kind of like put with a touch of blue, because it is really powerful when you tap into that. So I love that you said that and how you tend to be, you know, in your mind, like, this is how it goes. But allowing the flavor of that in there. I think it's really great.
Speaker 1 6:28
Yeah, and when you're thinking about the example of like procrastination, for example, I think if you were to if you have something that you know, you should be doing, like, you know, you should be reaching out to potential prospects in your business, but you're not doing it, how I would approach it to blend these two is instead of just layering on more tactics and strategy around, okay, well, here, you make a list and then you schedule a time. And then you did that. Sometimes, if you're feeling that resistance, there's a reason you're not doing it. So you have to start by digging a little deeper into, well, why am I procrastinating on this? What is the resistance really about? Is there something Am I afraid of maybe being judged, I'm afraid that people are going to think that I'm salesy or pushy if I reach out to them. Because if that's true, you're going to it's going to be so hard to get over that hump and start reaching out and and all the strategies still isn't going to make it, you know, feel useful, it's gonna feel like such a struggle, and you're gonna hate it. And so once you understand what the resistance is about, you're able to work with it. And you can develop a plan, doing a little inner work again, with like self inquiry, then figuring out what is a way that you could feel more authentic, reaching out. So once you know what you're afraid of, you can be like, well, how can I reach out to someone in a way that really is coming from my heart, like, hey, I really feel like I have tools that can help you, I heard you say that you're struggling with x. And I know how to help you overcome that. So it's like, I'm offering you a service and a gift, rather than I want you as a client, and I want your money because that if you can shift the what you're coming from, it just feels so much different, both with yourself and with the people that you're reaching out to. And then from there, like once you have that, and you're know you're coming from the right place, then you can layer on the tactic and the strategy and think about, okay, I know that this is the way I'm gonna grow my business. So now I need to think about what are the metrics that I want to be tracking on a regular basis and the metrics that I want to hit on a weekly or a monthly basis in order to make sure that I'm growing how I want in my business.
Christa 8:41
I love this around procrastination, because I think that you know, I don't want to identify with any of my patterns. However, I would say that procrastination, it's been really interesting to dive deeper into the why behind the stalling like, what is that? I think it's really powerful what you share, because when we get a little curious about why we do the things that we do, it can be so freeing, right? So that we can have some of that both. And I love that.
Sheree 9:06
So good. I'm exactly the same. And I'd like to say, Chris, I don't wanna identify with it, but it's definitely, and I think it's something that a lot of entrepreneurs can really relate to, it's this insurmountable overwhelm of all of the never ending things on your to do list. So procrastination sometimes can be a pain, or I've even noticed for me, it's like, my inner child just wants to have some fun. And that comes out and it's like, Well, I'm just gonna sit here and scroll through my Instagram feed, because that's a lot easier. And that's fun, right? Even though it's not really moving the needle for it. So I really appreciate right,
Speaker 1 9:40
and I think you bring up a good point for entrepreneurs, a lot of times we set our own deadlines. And so it's not like there's that external pressure of someone saying, Hey, you have to submit this by this day or at this time for your job. It's us saying I need to do this by this time, and there's no one holding us accountable. Do you have a coach? And so it's so easy to push things off? Because like, oh, maybe it's not that important, right? So
Sheree 10:07
in relation to that, because I can even feel I know it's a little while away before I even have kids. But I feel like this, like looming deadline of going, I've got an internal body clock that's ticking away. And I know that you have most gorgeous son like we see her photos and posted them all the time. And I know that you've actually got another little one on the way, which is amazing. So yeah, how ambitious driven listeners that actually want to be really present for their family, you expand a little bit more on what that harmony really looks like, and how you've integrated that harmony for both having that business success, and then that into family success as well. Yeah,
Speaker 1 10:45
well, I want to start by saying that, you know, I actually, I actually delayed having a kids for a long time, because I kept feeling like I wasn't ready yet. And I needed to have my career needed to be further along. And there was all these excuses. Because it was that achiever part in me, it's like, I need to happy have things totally dialed, right. Because I knew that having a child would greatly impact my time. And I was right. And I'm sure it will having to as well. So but it's one of those things like you don't know what you don't know until you're in it. But I think that regardless of whether or not you have kids, most of my clients, most people in general want to make sure that they have time for growing in their their personal and professional life, but also have time for their family or their friends. And I think that the double edged sword of being ambitious is that our ego is always looking for ways that we can be better. So it's easy to fall into these patterns of thinking like, we're never doing enough, like I'm not doing enough as a mom, and I'm not doing enough in my business. And it's so easy to get caught in those thought patterns. And so for someone who can relate to this, I would say that one thing you can do is just slowing things down and asking yourself, What would success look like, for me in these different areas of my life? So what would success look like? For me in business? What would success look like for me in with my family or my personal life? And really starting to get specific? And then checking in with yourself? And seeing like, are these really high expectations? Is it possible to actually hit all these things at once, maybe you need to, I hate to say it but like lower your expectations a little bit and be a little more realistic and start with something that is going to be like ease, give yourself some easy wins and a little bit of motivation. And because that's going to start the momentum, and then you can always add on from there. So I have a life vision exercise that I like to do myself, I actually do it once a year just because things change and my life vision changes. And and I think it's a powerful way to just kind of tune into what do you want your day to day to look like? And then from there, you can start connecting the dots. And again, like bringing it that's kind of the whoo part, right? It's like that visualization, and then bringing in more of the important metrics, like what are the most important metrics, let's say in your business that you have to do consistently to create that success. And make sure you're really clear with the needle movers. And you're not just taking on everything, because as an entrepreneur or small business owner, it's so easy to see all the opportunities for growth, and oh, I could do this. And I could redo my website. And I could do, you know, I can make a podcast. And I could do, you know, five reels a week and I could you know all these things, that would be nice. But you have to be realistic with yourself. And unless you have a team. And you know, so like a social media team, or maybe a website designer, all these things, be realistic with how much time that's going to take and being able to, I think delegate or schedule things for later and saying, You know what, I'm not going to even get into that for a few months. Or I'm going to hire someone to do that. Or I'm just going to let go of that. And maybe it's not that important. I think that's one of the hugest factors. It's like being able to say no to things and really honing in on your biggest priorities doing them consistently. And so for example, with business that could look like outreach and scheduling, I need to schedule three sales calls a week, or I need to reach out to five new prospects or something like that thinking about what is actually going to help you move the needle and making sure that you're carving out time on your calendar, you're blocking it out, and you're not just waiting until the end of the day or the end of the week to do that with family. It could look like just getting clear again some of the stuff we take for granted but thinking about that could be 10 minutes a day of really quality one on one time with your kids where I know 10 minutes doesn't sound like a lot. But it can also feel like a lot, sometimes when you're maxed out and really making sure that every day, you have 10 minutes where there's no electronics present, no email, no phone, it's just you and your child. And you're giving them that one on one attention. And you know, doing something fun or creative and really connecting with them and making them feel like seen and loved in that can be more powerful than having a few hours with them, when they're just in the background, and you're trying to check emails, and you're getting frustrated, because they're distracting you and all that. So I think just really being intentional with that, or even just with your partner saying, let's plan one night a week or one hour a week, where we just are really intentional with one on one connection time, you know, whether that's a date, or just a dinner without electronics or, you know, coming up with some silly questions to ask each other to really connect, I think that it's more about the quality than the quantity. In both of these cases.
Sheree 16:08
I couldn't agree with you more. I really appreciate you sharing that. And one thing I love that you mentioned, and you kind of kept coming back to an each point. So just want to reiterate that like the specificity. I think a lot of the time, we can set goals and we set these big, you know, dreams that we have, but we actually don't get super, super specific. And and you touched on this a little bit in terms of like the ego and the role that that can kind of play in this as well. So it's it's really, really clear, tangible things for our listeners to go. Okay, I can actually go and sit down. And what does this look like? What does that quality time look like? Is it that 10 minutes, because I totally agree with you that quality over quantity is something I think a lot of people are getting wrong, and then they don't feel like they're doing enough because they're kind of half and half out all the time. Right?
Speaker 1 16:55
Right. And I think also, if you are really trying to excel in every area of your life, once you actually break it down and map it out, and you can see all of your expectations for yourself, it's going to be a lot more clear for you, if it's actually realistic for you to do that in a day or in a week. And then you can say, Okay, I know, I was maybe it was a little ambitious thing, I'm going to work out six times a week for an hour a day. And I'm going to do you know, I'm going to read for an hour a day. And I'm going to like all these different things that are all great individually. But sometimes you have to go through cycles and just say right now, I'm really going to focus, maybe I like 90 Day goals. So I'm really going to focus for the next 90 days on this specific part of my life is going to be my priority. And then I'm going to supplement it with other areas of my life more like a baseline, you know where it's like, I'm just like in maintenance mode, right? Because we can't be growing exponentially in every area of our life, or that's going to lead to burnout.
Christa 17:59
Yeah, I liked how you talked about just kind of rewinding a little bit back to that balance the harmony like kind of like a seesaw. Like sometimes business goals take priority, sometimes family or friendships kind of take it like there has to be there. It's difficult to constantly keep that balance. And so kind of that up and down. And I find also as a mom with big goals is to Yeah, to really separate time for me, my kids are in school. So you know, school time is when I work on business. And then after that is more family oriented. So just compartmentalizing and being present with whichever you are during that day, like the time buckets of when this is like 100% my, you know, my focus, and then turning that off. And that can be a challenge sometimes, you know, I mean, it can be a challenge to, especially if you work from home to kind of turn that switch off. But But yeah, I like that idea of just really being present, no electronics do the thing. Making our listeners are self motivated, self motivated, they have high standards for themselves. So how do you work through the feelings of not hitting those goals like you talked about? Like sometimes we do overextend ourselves. And a lot of times those are personally imposed timelines. So how do you kind of talk with your clients about coming to terms with what's more realistic, and and then when they don't hit goals, how to not like ruminate in that self beat
Speaker 1 19:18
up? Yeah, I think we have all three of us experiences when we did the coaching program in the mastermind together because again, it was it was amplified because there was what I think 30 women when we were in the mastermind, that we're all super ambitious, doing big things with our businesses, which is really inspiring but also it kind of lights the fire and you're like, Alright, I gotta go for it. So then we set these big goals too. And then it can be it can be hard when you're hearing like all these other people are doing these incredible things and you're like dang it, I had the best intentions and I felt like I was doing it but I didn't hit it. So I resonate with And I really, I think that there's a couple of layers here. But you bring up a good point is that oftentimes it's like these, these deadlines are personally imposed, let's say, with entrepreneurs. And a lot of times we set these deadlines for ourselves. And they might be maybe a little over ambitious, because we're not factoring in other areas of our life. Let's say it's the summer and Krysta, your kids are normally in school. And then when summer comes, your kids are no longer in school. So suddenly, if they're not driving, yet, you're having to drive them around and drop them off. And if you're not factoring in all that extra time, that you're going to need to do those things. You might be setting the goals the same way that you would be with the expectations of the time freedom that you have during the school year, and then you get frustrated, because during the summer, you're suddenly like, Where's all my time, I am really not making the progress that I want, right. So that's one thing is just making sure that you are being realistic with everything else that's happening in your life, when you're setting these goals, whether it's in your fitness, or in your health, or your business, or whatever. And I think that it is important to have goals so that we can clear direction and make sure that we're following through. But you also have to give yourself grace. And know that, again, it's just an arbitrary timeline. And even if it's not, like even if you have a goal, let's say for example, that you want to hit a certain weight by a date, like a vacation that you're going on, it's nice to have a goal so that you stay motivated, and you are using that to really break things down into like weekly, a weekly plan or a daily plan and monthly plan. But then, if you don't quite get to where you want to be, there's no benefit in beating yourself up around not hitting the goal, because you know that you You did your best with the time and energy that you had. And there's a few different processes that I can that we know we've all used for this. But I think a key part is thinking about what are the benefits that you did get from doing all the work that you did do? What are the lessons that you learned? Because even quote unquote, failures can be used as lessons. So thinking about, Okay, well, I learned that next time I need to set less ambitious goals, or I need to recruit help from my partner to do more of the drop offs, or I need to Yeah, just just really digging into like, what are the things that didn't work? Why didn't they work? How can I use this to my advantage to set myself up for success moving forward. And it doesn't mean just because you didn't hit your goal by a certain date that it's not going to happen. Like I remember with our what was in our mastermind, I had a financial goal for my business. And we got to the halfway point, and I wasn't at my halfway point and I was beating myself up. And we're hearing about these coaches that are just raking it in and oh my gosh, what is wrong with me. But I also I had moved to Tahoe, we had gone through a lot of ups and downs with childcare. And so I just did not have the time that I normally had. And also the mental capacity like cognitively because I was just feeling a lot of stress and pressure around finding good childcare. And that just kept distracting me from staying on on focus. And so even though I didn't hit that halfway point by the halfway of the mastermind, or six, six month mastermind, I ended up making it up in the second half because I was able to lay the foundation and focus on the personal things that I needed to dial in. And then I got our wait, no, I think this was the second restaurant, I was gonna say that I got pregnant, but that was that was later. But that also can affect your mental state. And so I was able to, to hit the goal by the end of the mastermind, but it's like if I would have just got caught up in the middle around, I didn't hit it. I'm a failure. That wouldn't have really helped me but instead I was able to really slow down, start analyzing, like, what are the things that didn't work? Why was I actually not reaching out? Okay, well, I just, I wasn't in my, I didn't feel like it was heartfelt. I wasn't carving out the time, you know, there was all these different things. So then I was able to use that and kind of give myself an honest assessment of what I was doing and not doing to you that moving forward to continue making progress towards my goals.
Christa 24:33
One thing I find helpful and I don't know if you use this as well, but making tiny goals like I'm talking like, I'm going to commit to 10 minutes every day of picking up around the house just to stay on top of things but so not only do I feel like productive I also start to gain a little bit more trust in myself that I can set a goal and I can make it so it's interesting the psychological aspect of that it just small things because I also am in a long As maker and I tend to write out 50 things when realistically, I probably can only do five. And that can get frustrating. And you can start to create a narrative inside that I'm just a failure, I can't really do things. And so I have found personally, that making teeny tiny goals that I know I can accomplish, tells my unconscious mind. Yep, we can do what we say we're going
Speaker 1 25:21
to do. Yeah, yeah, like progress goals, even where you're like, Okay, I'm gonna do, I'm gonna work out three times a week, for a month, right? So you're just like, Okay, this is the progress that you're focusing on, rather than, I'm going to lose 10 pounds in a month. Because, you know, sometimes that's a little harder, because you can do everything in your power to try to lose that weight. And then if you don't lose the weight, then you some people will become really attached to that and take it personally, rather than just focusing on all the little progress goals that they could set for themselves. But I like what you just brought up, Krista, too, because you were saying like setting these small goals. I think when you are setting goals, it's really important to reflect on what has your history of goal setting look like in the past? Are you the type that tends to set really big ambitious goals and then not hit them? Or do you set really small goals because you're afraid that you're not going to hit them, and then you knock it out of the park, like in the first month, and you're like, oh, okay, I probably could have gone a little bigger. So, you know, looking back at your history and what works for you. And then being realistic, and adjusting your goals, when you set them is also really important to do. Thank
Sheree 26:31
you for sharing that. And I love how, when you were talking about when you don't achieve those goals, how compassionate you've moved towards being in yourself, and being with yourself. And I know you said you kind of when you were first in your business, and you're doing more of the fitness things, even when you were running the retreats, the Whoo, stuff was a little bit like, Yeah, I'm just dipping my toes in there. But I also know now with more integration and learning a little bit more about it, there's this space of, okay, we've got masculine goals, and we've got feminine goals. And as someone who I can very easily relate to living in the masculine had burned myself out multiple times. Within this was still I feel like we're gradually shifting, we're still in such a hustle culture, right? So can you explain a little bit about the difference between the masculine and the feminine? And how those who like those people like myself, who kind of tend to be more on that masculine can set those goals to bring that or bring that harmony? I guess, between the two? Because sometimes I think we can think, Oh, I'm living in my feminine I'm not even going to achieve those goals. Hmm,
Speaker 1 27:36
yeah, such a good point. And also, I am you, I was you, I, I think we can all relate. And that's, that's part of ambition is like the masculine right. So I definitely used to lean more into that masculine and I would say that I still, I might be a little more masculine than feminine when it comes to goal setting. Like in my personal life, I can be super flowery and pink and you know, very feminine. But when it comes to business, I tend to lean more in the masculine. But doing some of this work and getting into this deeper, you know, practices of doing this work on myself and my consciousness, and everything has helped me to integrate the two a lot. So we'll start with the difference between the two, I would define masculine as more thinking about strategy really, like that whole 90 Day goal setting and chunking it down into really clear specific milestones and tasks and metrics and all that stuff, which I love. Also making like pros and cons list doing all the research science, it's a lot of like pushing and doing right. And that can be really important to stay grounded to have a clear plan. The feminine, on the other hand, is what some might refer to as like a little more of the woowoo stuff. So it's being really intuitive tuning in Word, learning to trust yourself. And like tapping into your inner knowing, which sounds kind of again, kind of woowoo but it's like learning to just slow things down and be like okay, let's get out of the head for a second and into the body. Maybe doing a little more of like the embodiment practice and trusting and receiving things. It also can be a little more emotional manifesting can be more like in that realm. So if you're one of those people who tend to be more masculine, that might stem from for me it was it was because I had this old belief that showing emotions or feelings or like living from there and and doing business from there was like a weakness. So things weren't really grounded in logic and science. I was skeptical. And I think part of that came from the way I was raised with my dad and my brother being very masculine in that way. And then also seeing some people who were a little out there on the EU side, who just seemed like I'm just manifesting my dream life. But they weren't successful. And I'm like, Okay, sure. Right.
Christa 30:04
Show me the science behind that, please. Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 1 30:09
Yeah, I will say that some of the stuff like visualization, you're like, maybe a little skeptical at first until you start doing it. And then you're, you realize how powerful it can be. So start by dipping your toe in things, such as starting to pay a little more attention to your intuition. So maybe starting slow with tuning in. I know, for me what works when I'm making decisions. Often, I still will do the research. And I still want to figure out, okay, what are all my options? But then I like to slow down and tune in and listen, like, what is my gut telling me? How do I feel about this, like emotionally, let's pretend that I chose option A, and really sit with it as if it's happening and feel into that. Okay, and then now sit with Option B. And really feel into that, because I know what works for me is having the both and like blending those two, so doing the research and then feeling it in my body. So you can start again, by just tuning in and asking yourself something like, Okay, where do I want to eat for lunch, right, and just like tuning in, and be like, What is my body really like telling me it sounds kind of silly, but like little ways that you can start trusting yourself, rather than going straight to Yelp and like researching all the places, right. But I think visualization is also a great way to, you know, start practicing that and you can it. The interesting thing about visualization, too, is that, again, I think some of the these woo things, there actually is some science behind it. So visualization, meditation, those things will actually change your brainwaves like your mental state. So a lot of times when we're working, we are in a what's called a beta brainwave. And that can be really great for making cognitive decisions, it kind of helps us narrow our focus, like putting on goggles, and focusing on the thing that is right in front of us, so that we can make progress there. But what often happens is this. The beta of brainwaves can also be associated with stress, because we're so like, tunnel vision, that we don't see other opportunities or things like that. And it can feel easy to be like, oh, man, I'm stuck, I don't have any options. Versus when you can slow down your brainwaves going into let's say, alpha, or theta, which visualization and meditation and breath work are always to do that. It helps us to kind of take off those goggles and suddenly see this bigger view of what's possible and think of other opportunities. And I think that's in line with the feminine is not being so laser focused on just the end goal. But being able to see some of the opportunities and the fun that is happening on the journey. And so I think that's one of the ways that really learning to tap into your feminine energy is important. Because otherwise you can get so caught up and attached to that end goal. And I have to do this I have, if I don't do this, I'm a failure, if I don't hit these metrics, versus yes, that those can be important. But we also have to really trust and really focus on the day to day and how we're enjoying our life as we get there. So that we don't just miss out on that whole journey of getting there. And we get to enjoy our lives at the same time, I like to
Christa 33:47
think of because I'm also kind of come from that masculine energy, and it can move the needle. But there's also a lot of burnout and stress and irritability and disappointment with that. And I like to think of feminine energy as kind of like water. And so when we think of it in that term, you know, for people listening are like, I can't really conceptualize this. Think of like a rock in the middle of a river. You know, there's two ways of looking at that rock. There's one person that just sitting there one force is just like I have to move this boulder, the Boulder is not moving, I have to move this boulder and you're just angry and you're frustrated using all this energy going nowhere. And then there's the feminine flow water that's like amazing, here's a rock let me just go around it and there's so much around it. It's not really a barrier because there's other opportunities on the other side of it. It just rolls right over it right it's it doesn't get lost or stuck and the other thing that has been said to me before is don't forget that there is so much power in tapping into that part of yourself. And you know, using the example that in on the planet feminine energy is water right? It flows it goes it whatever it responds to things. But a tsunami is feminine energy with a lot of power behind it, right. And so when we think about it in that way, it's not a weakness because I also is just like you, China, I really thought emotion, showing emotion crying in front of people was just the worst thing you could do do not show emotion. And there's actually a lot of power and vulnerability, there's a lot of connection that can be made, and a lot of release so that you can move forward in your power. So that was just kind of to summarize my experience and kind of hopefully give another visual to this masculine versus feminine power, because it's not a sex thing. It's a it's an energy thing. So and both are powerful. They're just very different. What are some? So personally, for people that are new to this? What are some daily practices that you recommend for those who are beginners in this whole, like dipping their toe into like a different way of being around balance and things like that? Because that can be like, Oh, no, that's not for me. But what are some daily practices that people can become more aware of their emotions and underlying unconscious motivators that are kind of like quick wins, that people can start to explore this part of themselves? Yeah,
Speaker 1 36:16
I think anything that really helps you develop your awareness is a good start. So I guess it depends on where they're starting. But journaling can be powerful. If you're not a journal, or I know for a long time, I really wanted to be a journaler. And then I was like, You know what, I'm much more of like a talk texter to myself. So sometimes I'll go on walks. And I'll just sit and record messages, like thoughts to myself talk texting or voice recordings, because that just feels easier than me sitting down. And like writing in a journal in a lot of times, it just is helpful to voice some of the emotions or the thoughts that are coming through. And it just helps me to process things. I have a client who is she's very much a verbal processor. And so I swear sometimes, in our calls, she'll just, it's just really about asking her the right questions and letting her process everything by herself. And then she's like, Oh, my god, wow. Okay, that light bulb, right. So I think that being able to just get curious around, why am I if you have an unpleasant emotion, you know, what is this really about for me? What am I trying to avoid? What am I afraid might happen? Just getting curious, a lot of us, when we experience that uncomfort, like discomfort, or the unknown, or, you know, any of that resistance, we want to just like push it away. But there's actually wisdom in looking at it and being curious and not letting it drive. But instead being like, oh, okay, well, tell me a little bit more about that. Like, why is that because once you understand it, it's easier. And once you get specific, it's easier for you to then make a conscious decision with what you're going to do about it. So I think that that's probably my biggest one for beginners. Yeah. But also, again, like visualization can be great. Yeah, I'm curious if you guys have have some that you want to throw in as well.
Christa 38:14
Yeah, I love the I mean, the first thing of anything is awareness. Right. And I think that is particularly people who tend to be the high achievers that ain't got time for emotions on you know, I don't have time for this. We don't make time for our own emotions. It doesn't mean that they're not there. It just means that we aren't really tuned into that. And I personally love the somatic or where do I feel that in my body? Do I feel it in my throat? My throat feel tight? Is it hard to swallow? Do I feel tension in my shoulders? Do I have like kind of a pit in my stomach? When I start to feel that I'm like, Ooh, interesting. Why do I feel like that? And instead of just being for anxiety, that's a big one too, right? Anxiety is sort of like, Oh, I just want this anxiety to go, I want to feel fine. It's asking, hmm, what? That's interesting. Why? What do you need? And I know it sounds kind of weird to talk to your emotion. But literally when you acknowledge that part, and I've noticed, you know, and we've learned that emotions really lasts about 90 seconds, if we just allow them to fully be present and accept them for what it is and ask, we tend to move through those tension times. So that anxiety whatever's coming up, and you get a little bit more clarity about what you actually need, because we I say we because I'm assuming everybody here and everyone listening tends to be a little bit of the Yeah, I don't have time for these emotions. And so when we just kind of sit with it, ask it allow it to be there for a minute it moves to much quicker, and then we just feel a lot more all together moving forward. Beyond that,
Speaker 1 39:44
and you bring up a good point, too, is maybe some of the fear around emotion is if I allow myself to feel this way, I'm gonna get stuck and I'm gonna feel stuck being really anxious. But the truth is, you're already anxious And so allowing yourself to really drop in and feel it. And I love this automatic stuff is just is powerful when you drop the story, right, so what we mean by that dropping, the story is not looping in, I'm anxious because I don't think I'm going to hit this deadline. And so I'm really nervous because if I don't have the deadline, then that means x and dilla. Instead, tuning into, okay, I feel anxious, and that feels like tightness in my chest. So I'm just gonna tune in to the tightness in my chest and just breathe into it and allow it to be here and not think about why I'm feeling this. But just breathe in, like, hey, it's allowed to be here, I'm just going to just allow it to be here, because it's already here. And there's nothing I can do about that. And just doing that process can relieve some of that. And again, kind of shift our headspace so that we're not bottling up that emotion, which then if we keep bottling up our emotions, and don't ever get them, give them a chance to release, then we blow up in some other way, later down the road. But when we let ourselves kind of, you know, open up the tea kettle to say, and let some of that steam. If you're in there, then we're not we don't have those blow ups later on. And we're like, where did that even come from? Yes,
Christa 41:19
it's been a game changer for me to just really move through my day to day with much less stress, just addressing what's happening in my body. Yeah,
Sheree 41:29
I didn't find like, when again, coming from that I don't have time for my emotions, I don't have time, I need to be hustling I need to be working. Like there's just too many things on my to do list to sitting in pausing, Jarkko. But I've made it big, very intentional, that I have time both at the beginning, at the end of the day, whether it's three minutes, whether it's five minutes, I call it like my daily pause. And it just allows you to really reflect to check in set an intention, if it's in the morning to kind of wrap things up in the evening. But give yourself that space to go. Because sometimes you don't even realize that there's anxiety present there, you know, there's an emotion that you've been suppressing, we tend to either avoid or indulge, right. And so if we've been suppressing that, and then it festers up, and often it can end up manifesting over time into like, a gut issue or hormonal issue or something going out of balance. And so giving yourself that space, and that time to reflect and work to go back to what you were saying before channeling, I find once I moved through that emotion, or even just bring awareness to that emotion allows me to drop back into the intuitive state as well. And then you act from a far more powerful place. And suddenly you're in flow, suddenly you're like, to the energy, you've given yourself space to process it. And that to do lists that you were so consumed with before you're ticking things off so much quicker. Because you're not bottling up this emotion and trying to suppress it actually generating a whole lot of energy trying to push that down, you've then got space and energy to put into the things that really need your attention. Right
Speaker 1 43:02
or from that place, like you're much more aligned and in tune. So you can start to navigate the things that maybe are not urgent, like Yeah, it would be nice to get that done today, but it's not as important. So I'm going to push that off till tomorrow or next week just do that clarity to make more strategic decisions. I love that
Christa 43:24
this conversations been amazing. And I hope that y'all listening have gotten some nuggets, because trying to throw out a lot of them and to kind of understand yourself a little better and understand that when that harmony between strategizing and also just kind of being in that flow, that masculine that feminine blending, I like to think of it as a braid, right, like, you know, and saying you have to throw anything out but you just got to braid in a little bit more of that flow and go around the rock don't try to you know, insist that it has to move right so thank you so much China for being here. Really appreciate all of your wisdom around this. I love that your journey went from you know, create you know having these gyms and really being in that mode and watching that and knowing your story about how where you are now and just really juggling both like having a business that's thriving and also growing a family and being at peace with with both that blending. So thank you so much for being here. Yeah,
Speaker 1 44:27
totally. Thank you for having me. And for anyone who wants that like visualization, action exercise like vision exercise, feel free to you can hit me up on Instagram at coach China Jones and I'm happy to just send you a free copy so you can dip your toe in that
Sheree 44:45
find you on Instagram or is there someone else somewhere else if people want to look up what you do and connect a little bit more?
Speaker 1 44:51
Yeah, no, I'm not super active on social and especially now going into this season of having a newborn in most days. Like mid June happening, I will probably be backing off of that, but I'm happy to Yeah, just shoot me a DM and I'm happy to send that your way. We also have a just like a kind of monthly mailer that goes out with through women who warrior that is inspirational tips and strategies and things and stories about women and just empowering women. So if that's anything that you're interested in again, just shoot me a DM and I can add you on that and get you on the list.
Christa 45:27
You Were Missing. Yeah, thank you.
Speaker 1 45:31
Yeah. Well, thankfully these it was such a pleasure to chat with you. And yeah, I look forward to listening to more of your episodes.
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