Christa 0:00
So I think that so many times we, we know, we want something, and yet there's a block, and then we just avoid it, or we have anxiety or we have depression, and we just want to get rid of it. So I want to talk about tools that we can use to move through these barriers of either emotions, or just procrastination. I know these things come up a lot with people, high achievers, people who are doing big things come across, I think a lot of this and I think we can both speak to this because we probably both have personal experience of procrastination, of feeling blocked in something of having anxiety, I know that I have. So let's talk about that. Let's talk about ways that we move through and the tools that we use to move through these barriers.
Sheree 0:46
And think this is such a big topic, right? Like so often, we will feel an emotion will feel overwhelmed, will feel stressed or feel like sad, anxious, or low mood or, you know, might not even be as far as something like depression, but we can feel these feelings and we tend to either indulge in them and we wallow in the self pity or the, you know, the emotion that's there, and we hype it up, and we get into a really anxious or overwhelmed state feel stressed my case sometimes throw tantrum, have those moments, or we can avoid them as well. And we kind of try to do everything we can to work around those blocks, right, but they keep popping up. I like to look at them as you know, little lessons from the universe until you're actually willing to deal with what's in front of you. It's gonna keep showing up. And it's gonna keep showing up louder and louder and louder, until you've won at the courage to move through it. And to you've actually learned a lesson from it. And then it may show up in a slightly different way. But you're going to be learning to navigate a different lesson from that. And so when it comes to our blogs, I think a big word that's been thrown around for the last five or six years is triggers. Right? Like, Oh, she's so triggered, or, you know, we're triggered by this or that. And one of my favorite sayings is our triggers are outrages. And I think a lot of the times we can look at these with such a negative lens, like, I wish it would just go away. I wish this feeling you know, that crippling feeling when you feel overwhelmed or anxious or, you know, really upset about something, it's very easy to want to just push it down. And so how can we use them as a way of getting free?
Christa 2:22
Yeah, so I want to start with anxiety if you're cool with that, because it's something that I think a lot of people can relate to. And oftentimes you can start with anxiety, and then it leads to depression, or vice versa. And the go to is, you know, substances to help calm you oftentimes alcohols, the common one, the other is medication. And you know, I'm not saying that medication isn't needed. But I think that there's ways that we can approach anxiety alongside if you need medication. But in place of alcohol, if you're looking to decrease that or decrease using substance to kind of calm you down. For me, it's like I always wanted to just escape the feeling like oh my gosh, my body feels anxious. Like, what? Why is this happening? Again, it's so aggravating, I just want it to go away. And what I have learned and what's been most effective for me, over the past couple of years of really diving into this kind of inner work to be more productive to be more content in life is the opposite of what you want to do to actually sit with the anxiety. Great. You're here. Why are you anxious and allowing that anxious anxiety to actually speak to actually say, and sometimes I'm surprised at what comes up when I just sit? I mean, it could be for five minutes just sitting here? Like why are you here? What is going on? And it you know, oftentimes it's I'm scared, I'm worried I'm frustrated. Great. What are we frustrated about? What is this and so having that kind of inner conversation with that feeling, and also doing, you know, tapping into the actual feeling in my chest like tightness or, you know, that nervousness, inner nervousness, really just taking some deep breaths into the actual feeling. And then asking, you know, what it really wants, I've been able to move through the feeling because I'm accepting it, I'm not judging it. I'm not trying to push it away. So when I actually allow that feeling to be here, and ask what it wants, it tends to come in and leave much faster, rather than kind of lingering for all day or three days sometimes. And you know that that has been really, really helpful. You know, obviously, in that I also pay attention to how much caffeine if I had been asleep? Did I drink alcohol last night? Like, there's some physiological reasons why I've noticed my anxiety can be worse than next day. But outside of the things even when I'm doing what I know, I should do physically to avoid anxiety. Sometimes that still pops up. And same with depression. If I'm feeling really low, like what are you wanting to say? What is this inner sadness instead of just wishing it away actually asking it what it wants. And I have found that it's been really, really freeing because those things still come up. And then I'm able to move through them a lot quicker.
Sheree 4:52
Yeah, it's a really powerful point that you bring up just being able to sit with it. And I think having that internal dialogue having that compass sation, there's so much wisdom that can come through, right? We're often searching outside of ourselves so much for the answers we're looking at. Okay? Again, like you say, you might turn into a substance. I know, for me, it used to be food, I would tend to food whenever I was overwhelmed or anxious or to be honest with you any emotion, right? It was emotional eating, it would tend to binge eating, and it was dealing with the discomfort some other way. And it's like, really, what am I avoiding feeling? What is the wisdom here for me to learn? What is potentially the then the little one inside of me, you know, some people refer to as your inner child really craving in this moment? Is she needing a hug issue needing, you know, some support issue needing someone that'll actually be like, it's okay, sweetie, some safety and some reassurance right. And we tie this into our physiological side, it's like, is your nervous system just super overwhelmed, and we need to calm it down. And so getting still getting quiet and going through what is the wisdom here. And one of the things I love doing, and you mentioned it, as well as physically feeling it in the body, right, we get told we have these gut feelings. And we get oh, you know, like you see with anxiety can be tightness in the chest, we may even notice that your shoulder shrug up, your whole body starts to shift, your posture starts to change when you get these feelings of overwhelm anxiety, or it could even just be fear or nervousness about something else. And you know, it doesn't, it doesn't have to be these big emotions. Because you could be sitting down, why don't get anxiety free, I'm fine. But you might get that little tingle in your gut. Or you might get that fat starting to race when you're like not feeling comfortable about something, it's like, Can we sit with that and get really curious and bring a level of awareness to ourselves to our bodies to our mindset, rather than just mosey on through in the day trying to keep moving and pushing us away?
Christa 6:47
Yeah, it's an interesting concept to acknowledge that our body is the unconscious like our body literally, the perfect example of this is how we're able to just drive a car or type of phone number and like, Your body knows, exactly, your body knows the phone number, right? Like it just goes in the direction it should, our body memorizes certain things. And so sometimes when you walk into a space, or you hear a song, or you smell a smell, you feel a certain way in your body, we've probably all experienced that. Like, all of a sudden a song comes on the radio and you feel it's like queasy tightness in your stomach because it reminds you of a time that you miss or a time that you were really sad or whatever. So our body remembers things. And so it's powerful to really start to feel your body. I think I know, for me, personally, I wasn't really connected with my body in that way. I wasn't even aware that I was feeling tightness in my chest or my shoulders. Until when it was very apparent, like, you know, big anxiety, then it's like, wow, that I can feel this. So you start with the big things. And then you start to realize even the small signals of like, Oh, that's interesting. Why do I feel tight right now? What is this? And asking that like really sitting with it and asking the questions, you can really learn a lot more about yourself and the ways that your nervous system does need to be calm down. And I know it sounds kind of silly, but to literally have almost like a child parent conversation, because the emotions are just very young, they're young emotions, they're just scared emotions, there's still a lot of part of us emotionally, I think that remembers certain parts of our childhood and certain patterns or emotional patterns, right, as a kid. And you know, as adults, now we can kind of parent that and move through things quicker. And that does really help relieve stress. So when you're talking about me, and I have anxiety, or I can't sleep, or I constantly feel tense, or I'm eating because I feel anxious, or I'm drinking because I feel anxious, it is just backpedaling a little bit, and slowing down and really addressing these emotions that can help you move through some of the parts of yourself that you're not happy with, that you really want to be free of.
Sheree 8:48
Yeah, and I think so much of it is, you know, we look at this looking at our child or talking to your child or doing the sort of inner work, as we've called it as a form. You know, a lot of people have done this through therapy over the years. And I think the great thing is, is that therapy is starting to become more and more natural part of people's practice. And we then get to move into this personal development space, which is huge, right? It's one of the biggest industries at the moment, that's just continuing to grow, continue to develop and this level of awareness and connection that you're creating with yourself. And for me, that was my first diplomats, my personal development journey, becoming aware that there was part of me that, you know, my needs weren't being met, or I was feeling this overwhelming, anxious, and what do I do with this information? Right? And so what we're sharing with you is, you know, tools that you can hopefully use to really start start part of this journey. If you're in the journey, how can you move through it definitely doesn't replace things like therapy for anxiety and depression, or dealing with trauma or anything like that. But it can also be you know, if you're, if you are really wanting to move through on this journey and master your mindset and really be in a space where you can tap into that next Love Yourself, we actually have to have these hard conversations with ourselves, we actually have to look in the mirror, right? And see what's really going on. Yeah,
Christa 10:09
it's true to really look at yourself and acknowledge those parts of you is suffering. And, you know, I wanted to bring up to mind body spirit connection. So when we have physical goals, when we have mental goals, when we have these goals, we can't ignore the parts of us that just exist simultaneously. So when we want to have better health, when we want to have better energy, we have to acknowledge the inner work, I have found that my energy has really taken off because I'm acknowledging the parts of me, that felt stuck the nervous system that felt stuck the anxiety, right, the brain fog, like not being able to wake up and think clearly, really has been, you know, acknowledging the different layers of my being and part of that is what's alive in me that needs to be heard and seen and not judged, but actually accepted and embraced. And it's okay to feel this way. I hear you, it's okay to feel anxious about this. I mean, I feel a little anxious, too. And we're gonna move through this together. Right? I know that sounds a little wonky. Sometimes if you've never thought about your, your, your inner self being like, dual, right, there's, there's different parts of us are really acknowledging the different parts of you. Because we know this, we know that there's different parts of us because we make a decision one day, and then a week later, we're like a completely different mindset. And like, What, I can't stick to this goal. That's the two parts of us really showing up. We all know that the duality I guess if that. So it is really just acknowledging the part that is feeling stuck and feeling scared, and moving through that. And then you'll find that your body feels more calm, your digestive issues are less, like I mentioned, brain fog, your energy, you sleep better. So we cannot have one without the other. Taking care of our body is equally as important as taking care of the inner part of us. Another thing that I have worked on that I found some of this work is helpful for is procrastination. So you know, when we have a task at hand when we have a goal, have you found I mean, I definitely have I used to just say like, I'm just a procrastinator. Well, I'm not a procrastinator, I have a habit of procrastinating, but you can use some of this to acknowledge some of these blocks that we have for really taking action on something that we want. You can manage this, what I have done is manage it the same way as like, let's say anxiety when procrastination comes up, when I feel like I just I know I need to do that. And I just don't want to do it. It's because I want to have fun and I want things to be exciting and and all that. But it's it's asking that party, why don't you want to sit down and do this? What is it? That you what, like get really granular with this? Why don't you want to sit down and email 30 People today? Why? Well, because I feel like it's boring, because I feel like I could be doing something more fun because I'm great, I hear you. And sometimes we have to do things that are exceptionally fun. And let's make it fun by listening to music or having a little prize at the end with whatever it is whatever works for you. But acknowledging that part like really facing that block, instead of just sweeping it under the rug and going about what you have been doing in the past or procrastination and, and the pattern of, you know, just ignoring, right?
Sheree 13:33
Yeah, I love that you brought that up. I'm definitely someone who can relate to the procrastination side of things, or the whole analysis paralysis. And sometimes it's also getting really curious as to how this blog has actually been serving you as well. Like I know, for me, I will, you know, a huge patent from yours at university was like procrastinate, procrastinate, procrastinate, procrastinate, because I know that the assignments or this exam, or whatever it is, there's a looming deadline. And I have learned, right, quote, unquote, to work well under pressure. That's the story I've told myself. And so I'm using this block of procrastination to keep pushing and pushing and pushing my deadline out, and then I'll just have to get stuff done because there's a deadline. And that perpetuates, if we bring it back to the whole how it affects your body physiologically, that then accumulates into that burnout cycle. Because I'm constantly I'm stressed the whole time I'm procrastinating that I'm stressed the whole time I'm working, and then I keep repeating the same pattern. And so it's looking at okay, how is this serving me? Okay, the procrastination is there because I that, you know, there's part of me that's wanting some fun, some freedom, some space, like you said, but there's the other part of it is like, Okay, well, it's also serving me because it means that I'm going to hit my deadlines. It's actually forcing me to put myself into that high pressure situation where I know that I actually produce tend to produce pretty good work and My body smashes a hollowed out because I'm running on adrenaline. But what is the negative outcome, and that was that my house started to take a negative spin, right? The burnout started to happen, I was constantly stuck in this pitch in the situation. And so using your blocks, seeing how they're serving you, and realizing that they aren't, you know, one of our mentors always says the blocks aren't in the way, they are the way and and say, how can you get really quiet specific and see, you know, the ego doesn't like specificity, does it? So when you have that conversation and ask what it really is looking for, you can now view this from your higher self or, you know, however you want to call it your best better version of yourself that other perspective and see, okay, was serving me in this way? How can I come to a new compromise or a new arrangement where I meet the needs of both actually make progress so that I'm not stuck in this procrastination loop? Or I'm not stuck in analysis paralysis? I get the work done. I get to have fun. And I'm not burnt out.
Christa 15:58
Yeah, I love what you're saying about, it's serving you in some way, like, otherwise, we wouldn't do it. So the blocks want what's best for you in on some level, right? And so I think in terms of procrastination, I know for me, it's freedom, right? It's freedom to go do whatever I want, rather than sitting down. So that's what what that wants for me, is what you're saying, right? Like, so that wants freedom for me. And that's fine, we both kind of want the same thing, because my higher self also wants freedom and wants to feel free with moving through a task. And so when we, yeah, like when we kind of have that conversation, it's like, Well, we both want the same thing, you're just going about it away. That's not very effective. Because yeah, I'm feeling burned out, I'm feeling stressed out way longer than if I just had to sit down, do the thing, and have freedom on the other side. And so that's a really great way of looking at it and also looking at whatever block is coming up for you, whether it's procrastination, or what's another common block, I'm trying to think of other blocks that come up for me a lot. But yeah, looking at it as it is trying to serve me in some way. Otherwise, that's a huge one. Yeah, and
Sheree 17:07
I think another one that people struggle with is even, you know, that self doubt or self confidence that that constantly can come up. And it's very easy just to be like, I'm not dealing with that I don't want to, you know, look at look at that part of me that's feeling neglected, or, you know, not overwhelmed, but actually feeling smaller or not wanting to move forward with the tie, like, I don't have confidence, so they must hold themselves back. And it's like, okay, let's look at this blog, let's examine where this discomfort is coming from, let's get curious about where this competence, you know, because there is a version of yourself, that's craving to feel confident, there is a version of yourself that wants to meet yourself with full love and acceptance. And so it's like, how can you, again, like you say, meet both, but quite often want the same thing, but made it in a way that's really supportive for you moving forward? And this is what's going to catapult you, right? Like, this is what's going to catapult you forward. They say in business, they say with, you know, with any kind of goal mindset is almost 80% of it, the other 20% of strategy. So if you're sitting here listening, going Shreya you know, Krista, like, how do I shift this way? How do I show up to work being more productive? How do I show up to my day, with more energy, if you're constantly telling yourself the story that you can't do it, you're not good enough that you just don't have the time? What's going to happen? Right? Where your focus goes, energy flows, right, Tony Robbins, it's really, really important that we actually examine this, we look at it, and we do the mindset work around it, or the inner work around it ticket free, because how are you supposed to get to that next level of yourself or your health? If you've got these lower level lower vibrational frequencies holding you back?
Christa 18:50
Yeah, the fear the fears block, I think a lot of people so let's say, doing that talk on stage or speaking up in your workplace or putting out your, you know, your your work out to the public, that fear can block us. And I think asking the fear, what is it that you want for me? And then when the fear says, you know, people might think it's not good enough, or you know, I'm not good enough? Is that 100% True? So asking back, is that really 100%? True? Do you know without a shadow of a doubt, that everybody who hears what you're putting out in the world is going to think it's nonsense, and probably not right? The answer is probably no. And so it's like, Great, how can we move forward then, acknowledging the fact that we're telling ourselves something, and ultimately it is it's just an innocent response, trying to keep you safe, trying to keep you having fun trying to keep you know, but it's not. It's not the best way because it doesn't really work. It doesn't really work. Staying small, staying hidden, not really showing up. presenting your work to the world isn't really what you want. We really want to be out there because our authentic self is in all of us is powerful, it's big, it's vibrant, right? Like we all have something to offer. And staying small is really just a lie that you're telling yourself that you need to do. But it's an innocent response. And so I think treating those blocks instead of getting frustrated, and really investigating them, and then tapping into that feeling in your body, that's somatic work, I know that you love this too. Getting in tune with your body can be so powerful feeling that tension feeling where that maybe pit in your stomach when you think about putting your work out to the world, where that sits and lives and tapping into that. And I mentioned before, just really asking it, and then breathing into that and noticing how it lessons when you just acknowledge that tightness in your body and breathing into it. And then like, okay, we're soothe, we're calm, let's go. Let's frickin move forward with what we ultimately really want to be doing.
Sheree 20:52
100% I love Yeah, I think you described the somatic side of things really well, it's really being able to connect with your body, like you said, because it's normally very, very unconscious. And I think a lot, a lot of the times, you know, and there's nothing wrong with it. But a lot of times coaches or practitioners can come from a place of behavioral change, and they're super, super focused on, you know, for example, we take nutrition, ate the food, the person doesn't eat the food, right? They might eat the food for a week or two weeks, or they might stick to it for a few months, then they go back to old habits. And what you really want to ask yourself is okay, well, why is this keep coming up? Why does it that I've seen 12 nutritionists now, and I can't make it stick, there's something deeper than just the pure switch of the habit turning on that needs to be addressed. Maybe food for you was comfort growing up, maybe food is filling an emotional need. Maybe you're actually super busy. And there's that whole procrastination cycle and you're perpetuating stress. Like there's definitely, again, like I said, right at the beginning, there's wisdom in why things aren't changing. And I think when we come at it just from a behavioral approach, and just try and change the habit without dealing with, you know, both you and I really focus with our clients, the root cause of the issue. Sometimes the root cause isn't the gut health isn't the hormones, isn't the, you know, the mitochondria to make sure that the energy is fine. Actually, sometimes the root cause can be something deep within us inside ourselves, whether it's a mindset block, or somatically. Stuck, that we're actually unable to shift. And when we do this in a work when we go through this healing, and by all means it is not an easy process. It is quite often not a fun process, there oftentimes involves speaking from firsthand experience. But this is often where we get that freedom. This is often when we get free, and then that behavior becomes so much easier, right? Yeah.
Christa 22:43
Yes, for sure. I mean, from that place, I have found habit change can happen easier. Yeah, just physiological stress, illness, disease, disease, you know, like dis ease comes from more than just the body. I mean, the body wants to be healthy, right. So some of it is literally manifestations of what we are thinking the beliefs that we have about our body, about our life, about our circumstances that presents itself then, through different things. I mean, we in our body, because we aren't disconnected. And I think part of trusting my body and health, trusting my body has come from paying more attention to those little nudges to that unconscious, you know, tightness, and then also acknowledging what makes me light up, what's the opposite, what actually makes me feel fluttery and butterflies and light. Let me do more of those things in life, right, like what actually gives me lightness. When I feel my body. It's like, ooh, this really, you know, my unconsciously to this really brings me happiness. And when we can become more in tune to those things, it really does help us move through the things that have kept us stuck. We move through it so much faster.
Sheree 23:52
Yeah, I think, you know, we're really, really just scratching the surface on this one, because it's such a massive topic. But I really hope that, you know, I'll let you wrap up with any closing thoughts that you have on this. But you know, if you're just looking to get started, you're not sure where to go, like, just really start to pay attention, the first thing you can do is become aware, have that conversation. And then if you need extra support, there's so many people out there that have been doing the sort of work that are helping make sure you do your research, maybe it is therapy for you, you know, depending on the level of support that you need, but bring just bring this curiosity to your day to your week, and start to notice those shifts internally. Yeah, I think it's a really, really powerful conversation. I'm sure we'll have more about this because the inner work is just as important, you know, from a mindset perspective as what we put into our mouths internally as well.
Christa 24:38
Absolutely. I think you summarized it well. just becoming aware of why you do the things that you do. Why are you procrastinating? Why are you maybe drinking alcohol just to sue the anxiety? Like why is the anxiety there? And I think you mentioned well, that that's not always easy. You know, sometimes it's and some people have big trauma that is helpful to speak with somebody to rectly but we all have trauma, we all have little trauma, we all have lived life, right? So we all have little things. And it's just making the habit of acknowledging those things and really soothing that inner part of ourselves instead of judging it and trying to push it away really accepting it. And I've loved this conversation, there's definitely going to be more of this because there is no separating the power of this kind of work. This kind of acknowledgment, there's just no separating it from anything else that we talked about physiologically. So I hope you guys have found this conversation helpful. And there will definitely be more to come on this topic.
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