THIRTY, FLIRTY AND THRIVING - A LETTER TO MY 13 YEAR OLD SELF FROM 30 YEAR OLD ME

Dear Little One,

Right now, you don’t feel so little. So much is changing, your skin is breaking out, your hormones are going haywire, all you want is attention from the cute boy a couple years older than you at school and your parents just separted.

Life is f*cken tough. Yet, you also feel invincible.

I look at you through my eyes now and see the strength you had, the resilience you showed and the confidence you shared with the world even all those years ago.

It’s funny how I am actually in awe of you. I remember how loud, outgoing and extroverted you were, unafriad to be seen, heard and lead. You’ve always been this way, even as a 5 year old. And I absolutely adore you for it.

Somewhere along the way I lost that part of you… I let the judgement of others, the disappointments, missed opportunities, the fear take over and get the better of us, and for that I am so sorry.

I let others dim your light, knock your confidence and taught you to hide in the shadows instead of owning your worth.

It has taken almost a decade of healing, opening old wounds, reliving old memories, acknowledging all parts of ourself even the ugly ones to really step back into a space where we know that we are truly loved and enough simply because we exist, regardless of any kind of external validation or expectations.

You are a diamond… FUCKEN PRICELESS and anyone who tells you otherwise isn’t worth a second thought. I am so sorry that I didn’t always have your back on this, but thank you for being the example I needed in my life to see that it has always been there.

I often think of the song ‘Little Me’ by Little Mix…
“I’d tell her to speak up, tell her to shout out, talk a bit louder, be a bit prouder
Tell her she’s beautiful, wonderful, everything she doesn’t see
You gotta speak up, you gotta shout out, and know that right here, right now
You can be beautiful, wonderful, anything you wanna be… Little me”

And think to myself – we all need to offer a little more kindness to ourselves, show more self-compassion and talk to ourselves like you’d talk to your younger self, the beautiful, innocent, sweet little one that sees the world through heart-centred lenses. What advice would you give yourself even if it was only going back a few years?

The funny thing is… My little one actually spoke her mind, showed up authentically and was happy to be a bright light for others to see. It was the later teen years, the bullying, the rejection, the eating disorder, the attempt to control my life through food, the heartbreak, the absent father that slowly made me recoil into my shell, but I am grateful as anything that she didn’t stay tucked away.

So on my 30th birthday, I celebrate you little one. I celebrate the fact that you were the only gift I needed and I am so happy that over the years I have reclaimed those parts of me that you always knew how to shine, piece by piece. With the help of family, friends, mentors and coaches.

Here is to showing up as our best selves, in every sense of the word. I see women every single day, every single age battling this sense of self worth. This need to be enough and believing it is something that comes from outside of them, when in reality the truth is, she’s always been there, you just needed to witness her.

So be brave, take the leap, become thirty, flirty and thriving or maybe its sixty, sexy and strong. Whatever your authentic self looks like, you owe it to her no matter what age or stage of life you are in to let your light shine bright. I know it can be scary, but you don’t have to do it alone.

I will leave you with some words of wisdom…
“You are loved just for being who you are, just for existing. You don’t have to do anything to earn it. Your shortcomings, your lack of self-esteem, physical perfection, or social and economic success—none of that matters. No one can take this love away from you, and it will always be here… We’re all just walking each other home.” – Ram Dass

With Love Always,
Sheree xo