10 LESSONS FROM 2023

 Truths and stories from the heart, with the hopes it helps in your healing 

1.  It is safe and okay to receive 

Okay, for this one I could dedicate a whole blog of its own - and I might - but this personally was the biggest lesson for the entire year, and one that reprogrammed conditioning I had had my entire life (but I will save that part of the story for another day). 

I personally find it far easier to give than to receive - recovering people pleaser here, and it was how I was raised. I find it waaaaaay easier to put myself out, to take things on the chin, to burn myself out and give everything of myself to someone or something, than I do to say thank you and receive. 

But this year, that got completely flipped on its head. 

I had friends offer me a room in their flat, support me and ensure I was never alone, I had my mum who knew my dream was to come travel to the US for 3 months and visit all my friends gift me the money for my flights and some expenses and said ‘just go’ (and I did). 

I had friends (many whom I had never met in person) welcome me into their homes, drive me everywhere, pick me up from the airport, share family meals with me, had their husbands cooked meals for us and cooked me meals themselves, take me to their children’s sports games, share their wardrobes, pull cards with me, buy me special gluten free treats, treat me to sauna sessions, hotel rooms, support me in my business, take me into their workspaces, take time off work, share resources and insights, gift me everything from skincare to clothing and hold space for me to share, be seen and heard and just be authentically me.  

I know I haven’t even covered the true extent of what I have received, because a lot of what is listed is external, when in essence the biggest gifts they gave me was to be able to say thank you, and accept their generosity. To feel their love and feel welcomed beyond words. 

Being able to receive this, has shown me that there are not only others out there that give with such a loving open heart, but that it is safe and okay to be the one on the receiving end. See the capacity we have as humanity to be the change we want to see, to be love, to spread love, to give love with no expectations for it to be returned. 

What a gift that really is. 

2.  You cannot rush the Universe

For the longest time, I had wanted to come to the USA to meet the number of friends and coaches I had connected with virtually. In fact I missed out on about 5 opportunities to do so over the past 4 years for various reasons, and at the time, not being able to go felt like the worst punishment in the world (there were many tears shed), because I just felt like this was where I was meant to be. This was where my tribe was, but no matter how much I tried to force it, it never seemed to work out and I accepted the reality with bitterness and resentment. 

However, as I sat on the plane I just boarded to Chicago I was overcome with this realisation that it was never meant to happen any other way. If I had’ve gone then, I would never be having this exact experience right now. WIth this level of excitement, these exact opportunities and moments, with this level of confidence, courage, experience and trust in life. Which I believe is what the Universe was waiting for. 

Sometimes we cannot see it at the time, but we aren’t yet ready to do the things we think we want to do. We are being either divinely guided or protected and that is why we cannot rush things that are meant for us, and nothing that is meant for us will ever truly pass us. It just might not happen in the timing you thought or were hoping that it would, and that is okay, because sometimes (jk… all the time), it is going to work out even better than you could’ve possibly imagined.

3. Let go of expectations + control (aka trust)

Boooooy was this a tough one. I actually laughed at myself whilst writing this one. Because I had told myself the story that coming over to the US was the first time in my life I had no plans or expectations, and I was just going to trust life and go with the flow (hahahahaha…. nope). 

Whilst it was true I didn’t really have a plan, I just knew my intentions, I clearly had expectations, because when they weren’t met I felt the disappointment boil up and spill over like an unwatched pot. 

Now this is okay, I sat with the emotions that came up and allowed myself to cry, allowed myself to judge, allowed myself to simply be disappointed and share that disappointment with close friends and family if I felt like I needed to vent. 

But where the real learning happened, was in the realisation that I cannot control life, I cannot control other people (and don’t get me wrong, I’m not controlling consciously or in a manipulative way), when I say control it’s my need to feel safe and therefore make plans and have plans and have everything done ‘right’ because when you’ve done everything ‘right’ you can’t be wrong, and that means I won’t get in trouble - inner child speaking here. 

The truth is, no matter how hard we try to grip onto something or someone, we have no real control over them. In reality, all we can control is how we show up, react and behave in any given situation. All we can control is our role in our life and that comes down to taking personal responsibility for our actions. 

For me, realising that I cannot control if the people I am with don’t wanna do the same things I wanna do, and they want to leave somewhere early, or they aren’t fussed if they are running late, or they don’t have the same interests, beliefs, values, or views that I do. In fact, that is all fine, there is no judgement here. 

But I had the unconscious misunderstanding and misconception (probably because most of my life I have had freedom in my schedule, and been surrounded by the same people and in the same town that I have always grown up with), that I could ‘go with the flow’ - as long as the flow was in the direction I wanted it to be in. 

Whilst things weren’t working out for me the way I had anticipated - primarily from a business perspective, but also in other areas of my life, it was the perfect time to reflect and adjust my attitude around expectations. Lean into trusting life more. Accepting that these situations are out of my control, and there is literally nothing I can do to change them, so I can either embrace them, or put myself into unnecessary turmoil over them, and the latter really wasn’t working out, so something had to change. It was time to lean in and trust life.

4. You are stardust 

I recently went to see Wish - the new animated Disney movie - and of course I cried. But the beautiful essence and message of this movie (I promise it’s not really a spoiler), is that we are all stardust. 

What on earth kinda woo woo sh*t am I talking about now? Well, you see we are all made of the same light, the same goodness, all connected divinely on this beautiful planet we call home, and all interlinked in our spirit. Whilst we may share different beliefs in how this all works, the take home message for me, was to come home to the magic that is in YOU. The beauty that is in YOU. The feeling, the wish, the gifts you hold in YOUR heart. 

That is what makes you special, and it is what makes us all special and when we can lead with that stardust, that sprinkle of light, we can see our own worth, the beauty and love in others and look upon each other with even more love and compassion… this is what will help uplift humanity, this is what will change the world. Seeing that you hold a light within you and have something special to offer this world is a true lesson I hope every single one of us can learn.

5. Repeating the same thing over and over is the definition of insanity 

Einstein was right. ‘Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.’

Oh hi, it’s me again… you know that annoying problem that just won’t seem to go away. Even though you’ve tried ignoring it, or maybe like me, you’ve said ‘I know, I know, I know’ but not actually done anything about making a change. 

Well this was me, massively in one aspect of my business. I kept repeating the same mistake and yet wondering why I wasn’t seeing the results I wanted (and kept complaining about it), when in reality I wasn’t doing anything different to truly see change or results.

The same thing can be applied to your health, one of my clients kept complaining to me that she wasn’t losing weight, she was eating healthy, exercising regularly, but nothing was shifting. Then I pointed out to her that she was going to have to actually do something different. Her hormones were fine, gut was in good shape, but her metabolism needed some love. 

What she actually needed to do was look at just how much she was eating, because despite choosing the healthy snacks and making healthy dinners, she was adding everything ‘healthy’ under the sun and actually over consuming. Don’t get me wrong, the salads she was making were super nourishing, but you don’t need cashew nuts, pumpkin seeds, flaxseed oil, hemp seeds and all the veggies in there for dinner, not unless you’re forgoing the carbs, and even then… It's about balance. 

When we finally got her to shift her thinking away from more is more, and over-riding her hunger cues (actually stopping eating when she was 80% full), and got her into doing more than yoga - aka added in some much needed strength training a few times a week, the weight really started shifting. 

It was the same for me and my business, when I got out of my rut, looked at things from a birds eye view, I really started to see changes, because I was putting my attention on what actually moved the needle. Are you focused on the needle movers you need to achieve your goals?

6. You don’t need to be perfect 

My goodness, this I believe is a lesson I will always be learning, as it continues to show up in new and different ways in my life. From my content, to how I communicate, to how I show up and present myself. This pressure to be perfect, to be the good girl, to hold myself in the ‘correct manner’ that is professional, respectable, acceptable to society - whatever the f*ck that is.

Yup… I said f*ck, and I f*cken meant it hahaha. 

The days of sugar coating sh*t and putting on a mask are over, and to be honest, everyone I know and speak to have had enough of the perfectionism and highlight reel, the facade, the mask that plagues us day to day. Which is why this year, and particularly the last 6 months have really been about letting go of perfectionism and stepping into expressing my most authentic version of myself. And sorry mum, but she swears. 

Whilst I do believe that there is a time and place for everything, and there is a difference between how you can show up at work in the corporate world and in your personal life, you certainly wouldn’t want to catch a teacher swearing at her students. For me, my life’s work is intertwined with my brand, and although I don’t have the potty mouth of a sailor, I do swear from time to time, it’s a form of self-expression and there have actually been studies to support people who swear are healthier (but I digress, this isn’t the point). 

All of this to say, you are going to be far happier, and as a result far healthier, if you stop trying to show up as the person you think people want you to be, and actually be yourself. Those who don’t like it won’t stick around, but do you really want to be surrounded by people who aren’t going to love you for the real you?

I cannot tell you how many times I’ve been told I’m too much… honestly, too much for what? Too much for who? Honey, it’s your ego that can’t handle me showing up, sharing my truth, my voice, being bold, unapologetic, owning my confidence. 

Showing up in this way has really allowed me to break away from the story’s in my mind that I was never enough (ironic isn’t it - the juxtaposition between the two). Sheree isn’t perfect, Sheree swears, Sheree laughs loudly and takes up space in the room, Sheree is f*cken emotional, she loves hard, cares deeply and is fiercely loyal and an absolute nerd, and all parts of her are welcome. 

And you know what, the people I have around me now all see me and value me for that, my whole self. Because I am still respectful, trustworthy and kind, but you see none are mutually exclusive. So if you were looking for a permission slip… this is it. Go out there and be your f*cken self, and watch your tribe surround you!

7. Watch the stories in your head - they are just stories 

Boooooy did this one used to get me into trouble a lot. Assumptions was the name of the game. Not consciously, really, just conditioning - that’s when past experiences shape your perception of reality. 

The amount of times I have actually saved myself a lot of pain and heartache this year because I started questioning my thoughts - is this true? Can I actually know that is what they/that meant? Or am I jumping to conclusions?

Don’t get me wrong, I still fall into this trap from time to time, but I am far more self-aware. To the point I even laugh at some of the stories and assumptions I come up with now. And to speak to my previous lesson, if I am not sure about what is really going on, then I just ask… no more of this beating around the bush, people pleasing BS - it’s done wonders for my communication skills. 

Take this for-instance, I had just re-enrolled my client at VIP level, and we were in a new container and experience together. It hadn’t even been a month and I got a notification from paypal saying ‘Sharon (let’s just call her that), has cancelled her payment plan.’ 

Instantly, my heart sank, mind racing - omg what did I do wrong, is she not enjoying our work together, have I not been providing enough support, does she not like me anymore, has she found another coach - ever been in one of those spirals? 

Well, I did. And then I caught myself, and thought… I actually have no idea why she cancelled. It could’ve been an accident, or a technical issue, she may need to change her cards, this could have nothing to do with your coaching or even her experience, and you know what? I felt a wave of relief wash over me. 

I sent her a voice note, checking in, asking if she was okay and saying I had noticed her payments had cancelled. Respecting her decision, and being curious about receiving feedback. Can you guess what her response was? 

She came back laughing, saying she never cancelled it at all, and didn’t want to either, turns out a week later paypal emailed saying it was some mix up on their end. So you can see how silly and over-reactive we can be when we are jumping to conclusions, or making assumptions or buying into the stories in our mind, that are just that - stories. 

8. It’s okay to be alone

As you may know… this year involved a break up for me and for the first time in almost 9 years, I found myself alone (although… you are never really alone, but that’s a story for another time - and not a creepy one, I’m talking about the universe haha)

Although I am an introverted extrovert, and love my alone time, I found myself feeling really alone. It’s very different coming home to a flat of people you love, vs someone who loves you and greets you with affection and attention. And I found myself craving this deeply, needing it to get through. And whilst it’s a different time going through a break up, to your normal day to day, I realised this need to be in company all the time, was my unconscious attempt to not deal with my real feelings. 

The stories that came up about this were hilarious too… like how uncool I was to be sitting at home alone watching a movie by myself on a weeknight. I mean, come on, that is normal and I actually loved doing this when I was in a relationship, but it is funny how our perception changes when our circumstances do too. 

I soon realised that it was actually really important for me to be alone. To process my day, or whatever I was going through, and to get to know myself better. If I am always too busy filling up everyone else's cup, I was going to burn out and I know how much that sucks. So I got comfortable being uncomfortable and learnt that being alone didn’t mean I wasn’t loved, or unwanted, it became a choice and something to look forward to.  

9. Fail, fail and fail some more, just never quit 

If you’re anything like me, the word fail really doesn’t sit right in your body. I cannot count how many times a little voice in my head told me I was a failure this year, but I never let it win. Because no matter how many times life knocked me down, I got back up again.

I also learnt to embrace my failures, because without them I wouldn’t have learnt the lessons I did, the lessons I needed to have the success, the lessons that would serve me for years to come. Furthermore, I learnt that there is never really a true failure if you don’t quit. 

In my opinion, the only time I would’ve truly failed is if I got knocked down and never got back up again, but I didn’t. I took it in my stride, as we all do, every day, and kept showing up for myself, and my goals. 

The truth is, no one is going to do the work for you, and no one is going to want you to achieve your dreams more than you, so if you don’t show up for yourself, who is? A life full of ups and downs is beyond natural, and in fact it paves the path to success. Just remember a winner never quits and a quitter never wins. You got this!

10. Spend more time where your soul feels like it’s at home 

Sunsets and sunrises, oceans and mountains, greenery and palm trees, valleys, high rises and rooftops… Where is your soul calling you? Where does your soul feel most at home. 

For me it is the fresh air and being able to see or be by the ocean. It is also all of the aforementioned places because I love being surrounded by nature, but at the same time in the feeling of a big city vibe. I need to be somewhere that feels expansive and all of those things give me that.

When I feel the most trapped is when I am stuck in a house or office space where there is no fresh air coming in, no earth to ground my feet on and no sun shining in. I spent so many mornings before I left for the states going for a walk along the beach, feet in the sand and surrounded by tall oak trees, watching a lot of sunrises. But when I was in the US, I found myself almost landlocked, and despite the palm trees (yes, everytime I saw them I was excited like a teenage girl - they really do light my soul up) and sunset, I did struggle not being by the ocean. 

Yet every time I was by a big body of water, it was literally like I could hear my heart sing. I couldn’t wipe the smile off my face. It was the most beautiful reminder that this life is so precious, and our environment can really have an effect on our mental and physical health. For some it is the sunny skies and ocean breeze, for others it’s the mountain tops and snowfall. There is no right or wrong.

So my advice to you is to spend more time in places that you love, with the people that you love, feel grounded and connected to the beautiful earth we live on and watch more sunsets than netflix, you’ll be amazed at just how much your life and love for life changes if you just follow that calling in your soul!

If you made it this far, then I express my sincere gratitude to you and hope that these lessons help you in some way moving into 2024. Sending you an abundance of love and light.

Happy New Year <3 

Sheree xo